rejected her. Admittedly she wasn’t anything like the
girls he normally went for. His type had always been the big-breasted,
pouty-lipped airheads who spent more time fluffing up their makeup in front of
the mirror than taking note of what went down in the classroom.
Cass had pined for him when he joined the armed
forces, and waited eagerly for him to come home on leave, desperate to know he
wasn’t a casualty of war. The whole time he was away, she wrote to him,
emailed, and waited for him to return to her safely. She’d pasted all his
letters in a scrapbook she still kept under her mattress to bring out when she
missed him and needed comfort.
Watching him hanging out with other girls almost
killed her. It wasn’t until last year he began to look at her differently. No
longer the little kid he used to tease or treated like a best mate, he watched
her and treated her like a woman, and she’d loved it thinking they were finally
where she wanted to be. They spent time together on the island on her days off,
lying in the white sand, swimming in the island’s many lakes, and lazing about
together. Cass had imagined one thing would lead to another. She was wrong.
He’d gone without a word, not coming back for five weeks. When she’d asked him
about it, he’d shrugged his shoulders and told her that was the way it was. His
work came first and always would.
It was acceptable for a while until she’d wanted more.
Cass wanted him to make love to her, to make her his once and for all.
It didn’t take much to convince him after they’d been out dancing one night. A
night of passion, grappling each other like horny school kids, Cass had finally
gotten what she wanted—a night in his bed. He’d made love to her with a passion
she craved more of— like a drug after one hit—but the next day he was gone
again, just like before. Unlike the last time, now she was hopelessly in love
with him. He just didn’t know it yet and she refused to tell him.
Now he wanted her to talk when she knew he would love
and leave her again and again because that was how he rolled.
“Fine, but this is the last time, Hawk. You leave me
without a word and you can go whistle for one of your little groupie
girlfriends to take you back because I won’t.” She poked him in his very broad
hard chest with her finger. “I’ll be done. Do you understand?”
“Yeah, I hear you.”
He grabbed her hand in his, winding their fingers
together and guided her to the little cabin behind the resort where she stayed
during the week she was on roster. Heart pounding in her chest, Cass hurried
with him through the cool leafy pathway. Her little cottage stood at the end of
the staff quarters facing the beach. She scrambled in her back pocket for her
keys, handing them over to Hawk. When they were inside, he slammed the door
closed behind him and pushed her against it.
“I’ve missed you so damned much.”
The dark shadows under his eyes marred his otherwise
good looks giving him a haunted appearance. The uncertainty in his stance
amazed her. This was so out of character with his usual forceful style. Cass
had a fleeting moment of hope before apprehension sunk in again. He rested his
forehead on hers.
“I missed you too. I didn’t know if you were coming
back, Hawk. I can’t live like that anymore, you understand, don’t you?”
He closed his eyes, his mouth pinched in a grim line.
“Yeah, I get it.” Hawk kissed her softly, with such delicate touches she
wondered if she imagined his lips on hers. “We need to talk.” He opened his
eyes, turned away and walked into the room. Over at the window, he leaned
against the frame looking out to sea.
A heavy fear settled in her stomach. “What about?”
He continued to look out the window. “Us. If there is
an ‘us’.”
Cass walked over and sat on the edge of the couch, her
hands gripped together on her knees. “Okay. I’m listening.”
He stretched his neck and raised a hand to rub