Free Send the Snowplow by Lisa Kovanda Page A

at the same time. Derek’s face as he held Clarissa in the delivery room flashed through her mind. As annoying as he was, and even though they weren’t together, she couldn’t imagine a world without Derek now. 
    Words seemed like meaningless gestures, so Jaycee didn’t even try. Instead, she lowered the side rails on both beds and shoved them closer together so Valerie could scoot closer to her husband. She deserved the opportunity to be close to him one last time. Valerie cradled Brad in her arms and stroked his head. Silent streams of tears flowed down her cheeks. 
    Sobs came from the other side of the privacy dividers. Walter’s gruff voice broke. “There, there, Marilyn, It’s okay, I’ve got you.”
    Not even Chris could keep the tears from his face. Valerie looked up at Jaycee. “He was terrified he wouldn’t live long enough to meet his son. Wouldn’t get to spend a last Christmas with me.” 
    Jaycee brushed the damp hair from her forehead. “I know. I know.”
    “How much more did he suffer by refusing his pain meds because I wanted to keep him alive as long as possible? I was so selfish.”
    Jaycee took the baby from Chris and placed him into Valerie’s arms. “There’s nothing selfish about wanting to have every moment you can with the man you love.” She cradled the newborn’s head. “And this little man already loves you.”
    The sound of the generator shuddering filled the room as the lights flickered. Jaycee stood up as they went out completely. She grabbed a flashlight and heads to the hall. “Great. We need more blankets.”

Chapter 15
     
    Yeah, they needed more blankets, and more flashlights, and more...well, everything. But what Jaycee needed most was air. It was as if every atom of oxygen had been sucked from her and sent to some alternate universe. One where young fathers didn’t die on Christmas day within moments of their baby’s birth. Where Christmases weren’t spent stranded in snowstorms, helpless to do anything except hold someone’s hand as the worst scenarios played out like horror movies in front of her. Where husbands didn’t abandon their families for no apparent reason, and children didn’t have to spend the holiday with a babysitter so their mother could work.
    She gathered blankets and supplies in the dark supply closet, illuminated by the beam of her flashlight, and piled them on a nearby cart. Doing something—anything had to make it better, right? She paused, then slumped to the floor overcome with racking sobs. No. It didn’t make anything better.
    Jaycee didn’t know how long she cried it out, but there were people depending on her. She had to collect herself. There would be plenty of time to lick her own wounds later. The needs of those other people trumped anything else. She shoved the tears away and pushed the cart into the hall.
    Jaycee returned to a subdued commons room. Marilyn and Harold held hands, their heads bent close together in one corner. Chris and Walter sat near a table while Diana tucked a blanket over Mrs. Abadie.
    Brad’s bed was now hidden behind the privacy screen. Valerie had the head of her bed elevated. She cradled her newborn, Brad Junior, rocking him while he nursed, his head covered with a blanket. Her soft soprano voice pierced the void. “Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright, round yon virgin, mother and child...”
    Tears threatened to overtake Jaycee again, and she had to fight the urge to run back into the hallway. Chris motioned her over. She hesitated, then joined them. “There’s a kerosene heater in the maintenance shed. We might need it later.”
    Jaycee frowned. Harold snorted. “Let me borrow your cell phone! YouTube. It’ll go viral when you fall on your butt again.”
    Chris’s face puckered like he’d eaten a lemon. “Shut up!” He turned back to Jaycee. “Seriously, it’s going to get cold in a hurry.”
    Yeah, she knew that. But there were other considerations. “Kerosene fumes