around her neck and choke her", Christopher says again.
We are to her side, angled in the right way for me to lean forward and put my hand around her neck. Her throat feels softer than I expect it to. I dig my finger into the soft tissue under her jaw and squeeze. Her eyes pop open, the pupils wide.
A knee buckles into the bed, tilting me towards her slightly. Christopher rights me, spreads my legs as wide as they will go and pushes his thumb against my hole, testing my readiness.
I'm ready. I was ready for him from day one.
There is cum still on his cock from her pussy. I feel it sticky against my anus. When he pushes, I squeeze harder, the tips of my fingers turning white. Fuck I'm tight.
"Fuck you're tight", he says, echoing my thoughts. "Squeeze harder. Squeeze until you see her eyes turn red."
I squeeze. I open and I squeeze.
"Can you feel it?" he says. "The blood pumping. The life inside her. Can you feel the power?"
"Fuck", I say. "Fuck. I can feel it."
"What does it feel like?"
I feel him at the edge, circling. Insistent. Almost inside me now. Open up to him. Let him take you.
"It feels. Oh fuck, it feels so good."
She's choking, but I can't stop myself.
"Look at her", he says. "What do you see?"
"It's beautiful. It's so, beautiful."
I gasp, weak at the knees. I watch her pupils dilate, and feel my ass-hole open fully to him. He's inside me. All of him at once, adrenaline rushing through me. I can't stop. Fuck this feels so good. I'm flying and I can't stop. I can't come down. I feel it bubbling up through my skin, bursting out across me like electricity. I'm on fire. I'm alive in ways I never thought were possible. I'm taking her life. She's mine. Oh fuck, she's mine and I'm his.
His fingers all at once on my tits, on my pussy, on hers. Inside my anus with his cock, brutalizing me. Debasing me. I'm going to. Fuck. I'm going to come. I'm going to kill her.
It happens before I can stop it. It's all over me, tearing through me, ripping me to shreds. It's all I can do to hold on. I'm everywhere and nowhere all at once. I'm alive. I'm so alive.
And then when I look up again, when I come to. When he's come too, there is blood rushing to the floor, swelling into the bed sheets and the sheepskin rug, dripping through the fat slats between the floorboards and I'm sat beside her, watching her eyes go glassy, the bone handled knife in my hand.
Bone is sat next to me, stroking my hair, his cock still hard.
"It's so beautiful", I say again. "So beautiful."
And that's the moment I know the truth.
Chapter 19
Maude
C larity is an incredible thing.
I know what you probably think about me. That I’m fucked up, I’m a real freak. That there is no place in society for someone like me. I’m a killer, a murderer, I’m scum, the lowest of the low. I’ve crossed the line no-one should ever cross. I’ve killed someone in cold blood, someone who didn’t ask for it. An innocent girl who could have had her whole life in front of her. Who should have.
I don’t have any answers for you. Any insults you level at me are going to be true. It’s taking me a while to realize what it is I’ve actually done. It still feels strange, unreal, but if I’m being honest with you, the one thing it doesn’t feel is wrong.
I’ve been searching for purpose my whole life and until Christopher came along, I never had anything even remotely close.
I guess you think he’s brainwashed me too. That I wouldn’t have done what I did without him, without Bone. The one thing I can be absolutely certain of is that I wouldn’t have had the opportunity. Bone didn’t make me kill her, I took care of that myself. It’s always been inside me, I just didn’t know where to look before. This obsession that’s been my whole life, this need to surround myself with death and destruction, I’ve just been feeding a hunger, or maybe, what’s really been happening is that I’ve been pretending I’m not really starving at all.
I giggle