Free Comeback by Catherine Gayle Page B

but I’d had reservations about having children with him. Mainly because of his drinking. I hadn’t wanted to bring kids into this world and then subject them to an alcoholic father. But there hadn’t been anyone since we’d divorced—at least no one I would have thought about having a family with—and it was getting pretty late for me to think about having babies. I was thirty-six and not in a relationship, so I was starting to resign myself to the fact that if I was ever going to have children, I was going to have to marry a man who already had some or adopt. They weren’t going to come from me. And that was all right. I wasn’t dead set on doing the whole pregnancy-slash-childbirth thing. It seemed messy and uncomfortable and incredibly painful.
    But again, these weren’t my kids, and they couldn’t be. They were Emma’s, and once she passed they would be with Nicky, and whether I was willing to have a relationship with him or not, he wasn’t in any position to start one. He saw me more as a mentor or counselor or something like that these days. Our relationship was similar to that of a sponsor and a newbie in a rehab program. I was someone he could talk to about his problems without worrying what I would think of him. That was all we were, and it was all we could be.
    His nephew was still asleep in my arms, though, and I was loving every second of it.
    I’d spent some time talking with Emma and Henrik during the game, and I’d introduced them to some of the guys’ wives that I had gotten to know through various events and fundraisers. Rachel Campbell was probably the one I knew best, since she was also Jim Sutter’s assistant and I worked with them on a somewhat consistent basis, but she’d had her hands full with her twin one-year-olds and, of course, her son, Tuck.
    She wasn’t the only one with little ones, these days, either. It was practically a nursery up here, and being around the team was starting to feel like I was in a baby factory. Just about all of the wives in the owner’s box tonight had been popping them out like crazy in the last several years. The d’Aragons had three teenagers, and Julianne didn’t seem ready to add to their brood anytime soon, but she was pretty much the only player’s wife up here not drinking from the baby-making Kool-Aid. I supposed I could add Brie Hayden to that list, but likely only because she and Keith Burns hadn’t gotten married yet. Their wedding was slated for this summer, though, so by this time next year…
    Brenden and Rachel Campbell had their twin baby girls to go along with their two older kids, Tuck and Maddie; the married, then divorced, then remarried Quinceys had Marley and Mason to chase around, both toddlers; the Zellingers had recently added Ryan to the family, who joined older sister Emily; Cam and Sara Johnson’s two-year-old son, Connor, had a sibling on the way; Ilya Demidov’s wife was in a very advanced state of pregnancy and looked like she might burst at any moment. Heck, even Liam and Noelle Kallen had joined the baby train, even though he wasn’t playing any longer and they weren’t here right now. Little Oscar was always trying to keep up with the other kids when they were here instead of in Sweden. It made me want kids even more, being around all of these little ones.
    It also made me uncomfortable. Being up here, surrounded by all of the players’ families, only emphasized how much I didn’t belong with them. I didn’t have a family. I wasn’t part of this family. I shouldn’t have agreed to come up here with them tonight. I should have just gone to my usual seat, out with the crowd.
    But now that the game was over—the Storm had pulled out a win for Nicky in overtime, thank goodness—they were starting to clear out and take their kids home to their beds, and it was once again quiet enough for conversation. Rachel hadn’t left yet, so Maddie was keeping Elin entertained and Tuck was dreaming up some trouble to get