Free A Friend of the Family by Lisa Jewell Page B

worst thing about Mon – the scariest thing – was the talking in her sleep. Groaning, wailing, screaming sometimes, too. She sounded like she was possessed by demons or something.’
    Tony paused. ‘Maybe she was. You know… it sounds like she’s really quite ill, Ned.’
    ‘Yeah,’Ned slumped a bit, the circus over, reality hitting home. Yeah. I think she is.’
    ‘Poor girl.’
    ‘I know – that was the thing. Underneath it all therewas this really nice girl, you know, this real sweetheart. It was as if she had so much love to give but no one had ever shown her what to do with it. And that was the bit I fell in love with, I suppose.’
    Tony pushed away a token corner of his baguette which he could happily have eaten but felt self-conscious about as Ned had barely touched his sandwich. ‘So, you just took off, did you? Did a midnight flit?’
    Ned’s face fell and he looked almost ashamed. ‘That’s about the long and short of it.’ He gulped.
    ‘Well, I can’t say as I blame you really.’
    ‘Yeah, well. I’m not in love with myself about it or anything. It’s not the greatest thing I’ve ever done. But it wasn’t just her, you know. It was everything. Hot Christmases, funny insects, everything being so far away. I just thought, shit, you know, Mum and Dad, what if something happened to one of them, what if one of them had a heart attack or something and I was two days away? They’re getting on a bit now. I just suddenly really felt this need to be close at hand. And then there’ll be nephews and nieces and things…’
    ‘Not much chance of that.’
    Yeah there is. You and Ness – you’ve been together for a while. And Sean looks pretty serious about this Millie.’
    Tony snorted derisively. ‘Oh, come on – those two? They’ve only known each other for five minutes.’
    ‘Yes, but you can tell just by looking at him, can’t you? This is the real thing. I reckon Sean’s going to go for this one.’
    ‘Sean? Nah. Sean’s not ready to settle down, no way.’
    ‘Oh, he is.’
    ‘No way.’
    ‘Look – I’ve been away – I’ve got objectivity. And he’s ready, mate, just you watch.’
    Tony didn’t like the way this conversation was heading. And besides, there was something that had been bothering him throughout this conversation with Ned, something he had to mention.
    ‘Ned,’ he said, ‘will you please stop doing that – that thing?’
    ‘What thing?’
    ‘That making everything sound like a question thing? That turning up the ends of your sentences thing? You know, that sounding like an Aussie thing? Mate?’
    Ned’s face fell. ‘Shit. Am I? Am I really? Am I doing it now?’
    ‘Well, yes, of course you’re doing it now, you div, you’re asking me a question – you’re supposed to sound like that. It’s your normal sentences that’re the problem.’
    ‘Shit – look, give me a kick, will you, if I do it again?’
    Tony smiled sweetly and kicked him under the table.
    Ned kicked him back. ‘Bastard,’ he said, with a grin.
    ‘Come on, kid brother, let’s go.’
    Both brothers pulled on their overcoats, headed for the door and wondered silently to themselves just exactly what it was that the other one wasn’t telling them.

Mon’s Hair and Bernie’s Soul
    Ned got back from the park just as the sun was starting to set and came upon Gervase sitting in the kitchen, drinking a mug of tea and flicking through Dad’s Guardian.
    ‘Oh,’ said Ned, ‘hi.’
    ‘Evening,’ said Gervase, folding up the paper with a finality that suggested that he was angling for a chat. ‘How’s it hanging?’
    How’s it hanging? thought Ned. How’s it hanging? What sort of a stupid dumb-ass question was that? Oh, it’s hanging very pendulously to the right, thank you very much. He grunted and nodded and made his way to the sink to fill the kettle.
    ‘There’s some in the pot, mate,’ Gervase indicated Bernie’s teapot with a jerk of his head. It was wearing a