Free Cloudy with a Chance of Boys by Megan McDonald Page B

all the time, but they don’t stand near the baby monitor. Maybe they have Pianophobia. Shush, you guys. I mean it.”
    Alex flipped through her script book. “It’s the party scene at Juliet’s house. They’re in Act 1 Scene 5. Mr. Cannon only has two kisses in Romeo and Juliet and this scene has one of them. And this is the one where Juliet’s not dead.”
    We could hear Scott Towel’s voice say, “My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand, To smooch that rough touch with a tender kiss.”
    “Smooch? He said ‘smooch.’ Was he supposed to say ‘smooch’?” I asked.
    Alex rubbed her forehead like it hurt her head to listen. “No, it’s ‘smooth.’ Smooth. I don’t know why he’s messing up like this.”
    “Good pilgrim, your hand is wrong, wait, good pilgrim, your wrong hand is, uh! I give up,” we heard Jayden say.
    “Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much!” said an exasperated Alex. “What’s so hard about that?”
    “Everything,” said Joey.
    “How can they screw this up so bad?” Alex asked. “This is a disaster. Even Scott keeps messing up. Can’t anybody in Drama Club act anymore?”
    “The Nurse is funny,” said Joey.
    “Yeah, she’s the only good one. And that was supposed to be my part. What is my problem? Maybe I should have stuck it out.”
    “Maybe it’s not too late,” I suggested. “Maybe there’s still a part —”
    “Shh!” said Alex. “Mr. Cannon’s yelling. I want to hear.”
    “People, people. What is going on today? Scott, your delivery’s flat. Jayden, you’re tripping over your own tongue. You could try practicing simple tongue twisters. It’s a great vocal warm-up exercise to help with Shakespeare.”
    “But I don’t even get what half of it means.” Jayden.
    “Sure you do. Romeo is laying eyes on Juliet for the first time. I’m sure you’ve heard of love at first sight? He’s blown away by her beauty. He feels unworthy of her love. Let the feelings come, and the words will follow.”
    “But why does she call him a pilgrim? Did they even have Thanksgiving back then? And why does she keep talking about hands and stuff?” Jayden again.
    Mr. Cannon. “‘For saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch, And palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss.’ Now you try. Don’t look at the script right now. Just try to feel the words inside you.”
    “For saints have hands like pilgrims, palm by palm by palm holy kiss.”
    “Let’s move on. I want to get to the end of this scene. Romeo? ‘Have not saints lips.’”
    Alex mouthed the words, motioning to us to keep quiet. Scott Towel. “Have not saints lips, and holy palmers, too?”
    “Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer,” Alex whispered, her eyes closed.
    “Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in . . . Ping-Pong?” Jayden.
    “You should have been Juliet,” said Joey. “Not her.”
    “Take five, people. We’ll pick it back up with Benvolio.”
    “Oh holy of holies,” said Joey, imitating Juliet. “Kiss thy pilgrim hand and smooch thy pilgrim lips.”
    “Even Joey is better than Jayden,” I said.
    Just then, the monitor crackled and the voices got louder. “Shh! It’s them!” said Alex. “Scott and Jayden! They must be standing right next to the monitor.”
    “I hope they don’t look behind the curtain,” said Joey.
    “My fault? All I did was say ‘smooch.’” Scott.
    “Yeah, no wonder I was thrown off.” Jayden.
    “My bad. I make one mistake. You’re not even making sense.” Scott.
    “Can I help it if Juliet talks in tongue twisters?” Jayden again.
    “You’re supposed to read all your lines the night before so this doesn’t happen. We sound like idiots out there. I don’t know why Mr. Cannon . . .” His voice trailed off.
    “Why Mr. Cannon what?” Alex practically screamed.
    “Oh, don’t even go there. Look, I’m Juliet. Not her.” Jayden.
    “Who her?” Scott.
    “She’s talking about me!” said Alex.
    “Alex Reel. Who else?”