Free Nice Girls Don't Live Forever by Molly Harper Page B

Courtney’s drink herself.
    Courtney seemed almost shy as she handed me a little pink-wrapped box. “And I had a little gift made up for you.”
    “Oh, thanks,” I said, opening the box. Inside was a little keychain attached to a silver disc inscribed with my initials. “That was really nice.”
    Vampires are allergic to silver. Touching it feels like a combination of burning and being forced to watch Glitter over and over again. Your eyes burn, there’s an unpleasant squelching sound, and you’re left with dirty gray streaks that are very hard to wash off. I knew what I was in for when I politely held the little circle in my palm.
    Andrea’s eyes widened as my hand began to sizzle like bacon. I mouthed, “I know!” Andrea started asking Courtney incredibly complicated questions about how she wanted her coffee. As soon as Courtney’s back was turned, I put the keychain on the counter and silently yowled, shaking my hand back and forth as the dirty gray stain faded from my skin.
    “You OK, Jane?” Courtney asked, smiling sweetly.
    “Fine.” I chuckled. Andrea rolled her eyes in my direction. “I’m just fine. I just have some allergies, a little eczema acting up … Wait, no, this is stupid. Courtney, you should probably know that I’m a vampire, have been for about a year now. If that’s going to get me banned from the Half-Moon Hollow Chamber of Commerce, so be it. I just don’t have the time or energy to try to fool you into thinking I’m normal.”
    “Oh, I knew that,” Courtney said, patting my arm and turning over my burned hand to examine my palm. “The keychain was just a test to make sure. But it was obvious the other night what you are. You didn’t touch any of the food. Your teeth are a little sharper than they should be. You’re so pale and, well, sort of glowy. Your skin drove Head Courtney crazy, by the way. She kept trying to figure out what you use on it. I didn’t say a word.”
    My forehead wrinkled. “So, what do you plan on doing with this information?”
    “Nothing,” she said, smiling pleasantly and sipping her coffee.
    “I’m confused,” I told Andrea, who shrugged.
    “It’s just, you’re so much nicer than any of those so-called normal girls,” she said, patting my hand. “I figure, if you’re up front with me, you can’t be all bad. And personally, I want to see how long it takes the other girls to figure it out and how many different ways they manage to put their collective foot in their mouth.”
    “You’ve got a bit of a dark streak in you,” Andrea told her. “My boyfriend’s going to love you. On second thought, maybe I should keep you two separate.”
    Courtney giggled. “Besides, I experimented a little with vampires in college. Every girl does.”
    I arched my brows at her. “You know I’m a completely straight vampire, right?”
    Courtney threw her head back and laughed. She turned to Andrea. “Don’t you just love hanging out with her? You never know what she’s going to say!”
    “Every day’s an adventure,” Andrea said dryly.

5
Remember to fight fair. No name-calling, no use of words like always and never , no bringing up old issues to avoid the topic at hand—and no dismembering.
    — Love Bites: A Female Vampire’s Guide to Less
Destructive Relationships
    “Are you sure the whole pewter-figurine thing isn’t too kitschy?”
    I repositioned the graceful fairy statues near our selection of amethyst geodes, which I’d moved because I wanted to make room for a display of The Guide for the Newly Undead next to the register. Now I was moving them around like my own personal nude pixie army. I bit my lip and bounced up and down on my heels as I considered their current formation.
    “It’s too kitschy.”
    “If you rearrange the fanciful bric-a-brac one more time, I’m going to stake you,” Andrea promised. “I thought we agreed that you would get a full day’s sleep before the opening.”
    To say I was a nervous wreck on