Free Nightmarish Sacrifice (Cardew) by Simona Panova Page A

eternal?” I dared to ask and my intonation trembled slightly with quiet tremulous excitement; something in his tone had hinted me that he did know the answer, that he had managed to reveal by himself an ultimate secret metaphysical truth nobody else had ever understood, and the special mystifying sense in the air around was giving me hopes that he would at least give me a sign if I had been right about that.
                  Cardew insistently fixed his terrifying but adorable eyes inside mine, and the little part of me which wasn’t utterly hypnotized by them remarked that it was as if they were reflecting the dark ancient gray shade of the stone he had leant back on.
                  “The soul,” he pronounced it solemnly and I felt the word dissolve into the silence while still trembling around into my subconsciousness.
                  The soul...
                  “The soul –” I repeated hardly audibly and he nodded slightly, mechanically playing with the black gem in his hands; the ruby line cutting inside the hexagon was forming the rune of strength – just the same as the one I had seen in my nightmare – but I managed to overcome the reminiscence so as to be able to ask my vital question. “And how about... love?”
                  A short pause filled with unspoken thoughts followed, but I could perceive that Cardew already had the answer prepared.
                  And that this answer was not created just so as to please me…
                  “No,” he slowly shook his head after a moment and returned the obsidian with the rune back to the others, where it gave out a quiet tinkle as it hit against them, a new fresh mark scarring its mirror-smooth surface. “At least not in the sense you mean. Sensual love can only last for a lifetime – whereas love as a state of mind is eternal –”
                  Feeling suddenly helpless, I gasped for some life-giving air: Cardew’s intense staring was suffocating me, as though he was ruthlessly trying to get to the bottom of my soul with his penetrating eyes, as opaque-black as the obsidian pieces spilled in my lap, and I couldn’t breathe freely from the subconscious desperate effort to withstand his forceful attack.
                  Having noticed my uneasiness, Cardew smiled lightly and looked away, as if only to let me relax.
                  But what I had seen from his character was convincing me that he wouldn’t make an effort just to comfort me – maybe there was a secret in his eyes – a secret he absolutely needed to hide – and he was afraid that getting to the depth of my soul would leave his own one open for me to roam in...
                  “So –” he started again, far more cheerfully, and the safe friendly notes played joyfully in his tone. “Think of a question now, close your eyes, and pick a rune –”
                  “No way!” I protested with giggling and placed all the obsidian pieces on the grass between me and him. “I’m not closing my eyes when you’re here!”
                  “Why?” Cardew blinked with well-played naivety. “Because you can’t resist watching me? –”
                  Amused by his overly confident logic, I burst into loud free laughter and that prevented me from noticing that he had darted in a lightning-speed attack towards me – so I realized it a moment after he had already defeated me – easily as he had received no resistance – and I was lying on my back on the ground, his hands pinning my shoulders down, his cruel smile too close to me to let me be tranquil.
                  “Or simply because you’re afraid of getting attacked?!” he finished calmly and laughed noiselessly with utter complacency while watching me vainly toss in his arms.
                  “Both,” I laughed out rather