Free A Little Friendly Advice by Siobhan Vivian Page B

voice mail. I do not leave a message.
    I pull the door open quietly so I won’t scare her. A triangular flock of birds headed south screeches above us and gives me away.
    She leaps up and spins around, both of her hands diving deep into her back pockets. “Geez, Ruby!” she gasps, as if I were spying on her or something.
    “Are you okay?” I say, stepping outside. The sun is bright, but the air is still crisp and cold. “I just called you but you didn’t answer.”
    Beth rocks back and forth on her heels and tips her head back in a casual stretch. “You did? I’m sorry. I guess I zoned out. Anyhow, I rang your doorbell a few times, but you were still in the shower.”
    I bend over the metal railing and reach up around the corner of the awning, pawing the sandpapery shingles. “Why didn’t you use the spare key?” We’ve always hidden a spare to our house. Beth uses it often. The jagged edge of metal ribs my fingertip and I produce a gold key in the palm of my hand.
    Beth takes the key and examines it in the light like the Giant Eagle cashiers do to twenty-dollar bills. “Huh. Must have missed it. Your arms are way longer than mine, remember.” She tucks the key back in its hiding place and sashays past me into the house toting a white paper bag. The buttery deliciousness of fresh Leetch’s raspberry jelly donuts wafts behind her. I follow her inside.
    Beth drops the bag on the kitchen table. The grease bleeds translucent polka dots. I sink into a seat and hear the whoosh whoosh whoosh of her shaking up a quart of orange juice behind me. She pours us each a glass.
    “Thanks, Mom,” I joke, and try to toss it back with one swallow. A blob of pulp rolls down my thermal. Beth hands me a wet paper towel and sits quietly as I dab the spots.
    When I look up from my shirt, Beth’s staring off blankly out the kitchen window. I know I made my topic of conversation sound trivial over the phone, and I guess her lack of urgency is my own fault. I start talking, but not about what’s on my mind, exactly. I suddenly feel like I have to warm up to that conversation.
    “Is there anything special you want for your birthday? I’m stumped on what to get you.” I dig inside the bag for a donut. It feels heavy and warm in my hand.
    Beth grabs one and chomps into it, spraying a puff of powdered sugar into the air. Then she reclines against the counter. “I don’t know. How about you take a special picture for me or something homemade like that,” she says through bites. A little jelly trickles out the corner of her mouth and she catches it with her tongue.
    She smiles when she realizes I’ve been watching her. But it’s not her normal toothy variety. This one is long and thin and taut. I drop my chin to my chest. When Beth’s paying attention, she can read me like a book. And it’s finally hit her that something’s wrong.
    “You heard from him again,” she whispers.
    I shake my head. “No. You’re right. He’s probably long gone, off to who knows where by now.” It’s crazy. I wonder if he even knows how much he’s messed up my life after his stupid five-minute visit. Probably not.
    Beth stares down at the remainder of her donut and then takes her last bites with a pensive look. “Okay. Is this about last night? Because I’m really sorry if I pushed you too hard with Teddy. You know I was just trying to take your mind off things. I had good intentions.” She wrings her hands.
    I meet her face and force a smile. “No, I don’t care about that. It was a good plan. Just the wrong boy.”
    “What about that other guy? The one Katherine saw you talking to outside.”
    “Yeah,” I say wistfully. “I screwed that up.” My body temperature ignites. Just say it. “That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. Because I think maybe there’s something to what you said in the gym.”
    Beth shakes her head slowly. “What do you mean? What did I say?”
    I take a deep breath. And then a deeper one.