Free What I Didn't Say by Keary Taylor Page B

fellow independent studier was, they weren’t there when I got to the room.  I flipped the light on, the fluorescent bulbs buzzing to life above me.  Pulling my hood down, I dropped my bag onto one of the dozen desks and sank into it.  Rummaging through my backpack, I pulled out a fresh notebook, one with a red cover.
    I remembered then how the psychologist had advised me to write in a journal frequently.  Something about how I couldn’t voice what I had to say, and sometimes I would have things to say that I didn’t want anyone else to hear.
    It seemed like the normal mumbo-jumbo crap psychologists always spouted off.  But for some reason I wanted to say something about this crazy weird day, and the unexpected benefit that came from my new class schedule.
    The door squeaked as it swung open and my eyes jumped from the notebook to it.
    The last person I expected or wanted to be standing in that doorway was Samantha Shay.
    “Hi Jake,” she said with a small smile, giving a little side wave, even though we were less than ten feet apart.
    Out of pure instinct, I tried to say Hi back, but instead just felt like an idiot when no sound came out.  I could only give a little awkward wave back.
    She was at least kind enough not to smile or laugh at my attempt at talking.  She closed the door behind her and walked to the desk next to mine.  She dropped her messenger bag on the floor as she sank into her seat.
    “’K, this feels too weird, sitting side by side like this when it’s just us,” she kind of laughed.  “Let’s turn these so they’re facing each other.”
    I felt awkward and weird as we both stood, grabbed our desk/chair combo’s and shuffled them until they were touching each other at the front.  As we sat back down, our knees accidently bumped.  I hoped I wasn’t blushing, or something embarrassing like that.
    “So,” she said with a bright smile, glancing at me as she pulled her books out of her bag.  The half dozen rings she wore on her fingers flashed in the light.  She produced a book that looked like it weighed about ten pounds.  Easily.  “You glad to be back in school?”
    I gave a shrug, feeling like my stomach was filled with acid or something.  Everything inside of me felt like it was squirming.
    Why did my tutor have to be Sam?  I was glad I had more classes with her, but I didn’t want her to be with me, constantly seeing the effects of that stupid drunk night.
    “I’m really glad you’re okay,” she said, her eyes suddenly growing more serious.  I thought I saw something flicker behind them, but didn’t know what it was, or if I even really saw it.  “The whole school was totally devastated when we found out what happened.”
    And just like that, she put me back in my distant place.
    Guess that will teach me a lesson for drinking, I wrote with shakier hands than I would have liked.
    “It’s a pretty harsh lesson,” she said, her eyes on mine.  They reminded me of melted chocolate.  “But I guess a lesson none the less.”
    I just shrugged, my eyes dropping from her face.  In that moment I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it through third period without dying or shriveling up from humiliation.
    “Okay,” Sam said, taking a deep breath and sitting up straighter.  “So I’ve been doing ASL for just over a year now.  Obviously with how small our school is, we don’t have any teachers who actually teach it, or enough interest for them to get someone.”
    Why’d you decide to take ASL on your own anyway? I wrote, turning the notebook so she could read it.
    “Uh,” she stumbled over her words, her eyes suddenly dropping from mine.  “A family member of mine suddenly lost their hearing.  I thought it would be a nice thing to do.” 
    I didn’t quite believe what she said.  Pretty much everyone on the island knew Samantha didn’t have any family besides her single mom, who traveled for business frequently, leaving Samantha at home by herself most of