Free The Nine Fold Heaven by Mingmei Yip Page B

deeds. I think this offended the gangsters because they believe only in their own gods, who don’t mind illegal deeds.”
    To my surprise, my hand had already reached to touch his. “Edward, I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through.” I paused, then, “At least now you have a good life.”
    I suddenly realized why this privileged American ambassador took an interest in me. Because he and I shared the same fate, though he’d known his parents, but I hadn’t.
    I was starting to worry. Although I constantly reminded myself to stay emotionless, was I starting to feel more for this man than was safe for me?
    Edward gently lifted my hand and put it to his lips. Not knowing how to react, I left it there for seconds before I tactfully withdrew it.
    He went on. “When I was at school, someone burned down the house.”
    “Then what happened?”
    “I was fifteen when they died. The church brought me back to live with relatives.” He sipped more wine. “It must be more than coincidence that fate brought us together.” He studied me with his penetrating eyes. “Jasmine, let’s heal together.”
    I feigned a smile. “Thank you for your concern, Edward, but I’m fine, really.”
    “You can trust me with the truth. I can tell you’re hiding things from the world, and also from yourself.”
    I might or might not be hiding things from myself, but I was certainly hiding a lot from the world.
    “Edward, not now please, maybe later.”
    “All right, if that’s what you want.”
    Finally realizing that he would not get anything more from me about this, he changed the subject with another startling announcement. “Henry is adopted.”
    I didn’t know what to say, so I decided not to comment on his son’s adopted status, but instead offered, “Henry is so adorable.”
    This time I really meant what I said. Of course the little boy was adorable, but so are many other little boys. I knew well that the main reason I liked Henry was because except in dreams, I could not express my love for my own Jinjin. I longed for someone to give my motherly love.
    Now Edward took a sip of his bitter coffee, then, “Yes, I love him very much. But he is a reason that my wife and I divorced.”
    “How’s that?”
    “Miranda never wanted to adopt. She thinks it’s because of me that we could not have children of our own. I was the one who insisted on the adoption, and she always resented Henry.
    “Henry was in an orphanage. A couple almost adopted him but at the last minute they changed their mind, so I was lucky.“
    I was very tempted to ask why Henry’s parents gave him up, but suppressed the urge. I didn’t want the ambassador to ask me the same question.
    But he asked another equally unwelcome one. “What is your orphanage?”
    “Edward, it’s Compassionate Light. But please, you cannot come there asking for me.”
    I knew the easiest way to take his mind off this subject. I placed my hand on his arm and stroked it gently.
    “Edward, I am sure you have more important things to think about than a poor girl’s troubles.”
    Anyway, my best strategy for now was to keep him interested in me so that someday, if it became necessary, he’d turn my savior.
    He cast me a piercing look. “You know, Jasmine, you’re a talented, beautiful, mysterious woman. And your fragrance . . .”
    So he had noticed that. But what man wouldn’t? Women pay a lot for perfume, but I had no need for it, because I was endowed with this natural fragrance. Actually, it was not “natural” because I hadn’t been born with it. Big Brother Wang had made me drink an expensive concoction from an imperial recipe. The esoteric formula consisted of honey mixed with morning dew to which were added chrysanthemum, lily, and ground pearl powder, plus some secret roots from a famous herbalist.
    Once in a while there was a little white arsenic in the mixture. Although white arsenic is used as a poison, a small dose keeps one’s skin tight and wrinkle free. It