Free This Is Falling by Ginger Scott Page B

I?” I ask, reaching my hand out to
look at the photo more closely.
    She hands it over and makes a tight smile.
The picture looks like it’s a year or two old, because Rowe looks
younger. I’d guess she’s maybe sixteen in the photo. She’s sitting
on some guy’s lap, her arms around him, and her nose tucked into
his neck. He’s smiling one of those genuinely happy smiles, and I’d
make the same damned face if I were in his position. He’s wearing a
baseball hat, and I can tell he’s just left practice or something
because he has baseball pants on and they’re covered in dirt.
    “Boyfriend?” I ask, just getting right to the
point. Not really ready to know if that word is in the past or
present tense.
    She nods yes and takes the picture
back from me, pinning it to the bottom of the board and leaving it
there.
    “One of your dad’s players?” I ask that,
hoping she’ll answer the rest without me asking. But she doesn’t.
She just nods again. The silence in the room is suffocating now,
and I feel like an intruder, so I hold my towel up and suck in my
bottom lip, giving myself some time to think.
    “I’m gonna wash this for you. I’ll bring it
back, okay?” I say, my feet slowly backing out of her room.
    “You can keep it,” she says, but there’s
something about the way her lips move that makes me feel like she
wants to say more, so I pause. I’m standing here, in the middle of
her room, looking into her eyes, and they make me want to cry.
After a few long seconds, when she doesn’t speak, I turn and
leave.
     
    Rowe
     
    The second he’s gone, the tears come
streaming down my face. I hate these pictures. I hate them, but I
love them. My mom told me not to bring them. “These things were
best left at home,” she said. But I wanted them with me. I wanted
Josh and Betsy with me, and not just in my head.
     
    I hate you.
     
    That’s all I write to Josh; I slam my laptop
closed again and fall to my bed, curling up into a ball with my
covers. When I hear Cass come in the door, I hold my breath,
stopping my cries, until she believes I’m sleeping; she gets her
keys and leaves me alone.
     
    I slept the entire Saturday away. Of course,
I only slept in fifteen or twenty minute fits. I wasn’t really
tired, but my emotions were exhausted. Paige was out all weekend,
which was a blessing. But when she rolled into our room on Sunday
afternoon, she made up for all of the peace and quiet I enjoyed in
her absence.
    “I’m thinking of rushing Delta or Sigma. I
like them both. Cass, what do you think?” I can tell Cass isn’t
listening, and I know Paige is only going to ask again, but louder,
so I decide to play defense.
    “I think you should pick Sigma,” I say, not
really having a clue what Sigma or Delta or any of the other
goddamned annoying letters she’s been spewing for the last thirty
minutes mean. Frankly, I want to set up appointments with every
single one of McConnell’s sororities to warn them not to accept
her, to let them know what a step down they would be taking
in terms of their own personal standards. But I don’t. I don’t
because I also would give anything for Paige to move out and leave
Cass and me here alone.
    “I think I’ll pick Delta,” she says, just to
spite me. Whatever.
    There’s a light knock on the door, but I’m
the only one who hears it. It’s Nate. I know it’s Nate. I actually
recognize his knock, which is dangerous and scary, and makes my
heart feel panicky things that I don’t like. He knocks again, this
time a little louder, and Cass stands up from her bed and walks
over to let him in. Ty is with him, and I’m relieved.
    “Hey, ladies. Your heroes have arrived,” Ty
says, tugging on the loops of Cass’s jeans and pulling her onto his
lap. She giggles when he does, and just watching them makes me
smile. Everything is so… easy. I look at Nate, and he’s
smiling just like I am when looking at his brother and Cass, and I
wonder if he’s feeling the same