Free The Quietness by Alison Rattle Page B

but more ashamed of the truth. Unwanted tears pricked at my eyes. I felt empty inside and desperate to see Jacob. He had not meant to hurt me, I was sure. Mary was looking at me, her eyes full of concern. I put my arms around her waist and buried my head in her soft stomach. Only Mary has ever truly loved me, I thought.
    She smoothed my hair. ‘There now,’ she said. ‘All will be well.’
    A great shouting noise suddenly came from downstairs and made us pull apart. Mary frowned and went to open my bedroom door. Father’s voice rose up to us, loud and angry.
    ‘You will leave this house today, boy! I will not be threatened again! Be gone when I get back!’
    I looked at Mary and whispered, ‘Jacob?’ Something crashed, a door banged and then Jacob’s voice.
    ‘Go to hell! I will ruin you! See if I don’t!’
    I jumped from my chair and went to run downstairs.
    ‘No, miss!’ warned Mary. ‘You are in your dressing gown! Stay here. Let things calm down.’
    ‘But I need to go to him! He cannot leave! Oh, what has happened, Mary?’
    ‘I don’t know, miss. But I think it best if you don’t interfere.’ She went to the window and pulled the curtains to one side. ‘Your father has just left in the carriage.’
    ‘Then I must go and see Jacob straight away!’
    ‘No, please, miss! I don’t think you should get involved.’
    ‘But I
am
involved! I love him, Mary. He is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. I cannot just let him leave! I
have
to go to him.’
    ‘Then at least finish your dress, miss. Please.’
    I sighed. ‘Well hurry, then!’ I stood and let her lace me up. Then I stepped into my petticoats and gown and tapped my foot impatiently as she fastened the buttons at the back.
    ‘There,’ she said. ‘Just your hair now.’
    ‘My hair will be fine as it is,’ I snapped. ‘I must go!’
    I rushed out of the door and lifted my skirts to run along the corridor and down the stairs. One of the housemaids was kneeling on the hallway floor sweeping up the broken remains of a vase. I ran past her into the dining room. It was empty. I went to the drawing room next. It smelt of father’s cigars, but it too was empty. He must be in the library, I thought. I slowed down and took a deep breath before I opened the door. A fire had been lit in the grate and the room was warm and expectant. It was my favourite room. The hundreds of whispering books which lined the walls from floor to ceiling had been my only friends. Until Jacob. But there was no sign of him.
    I stopped for a moment and thought of how he had first touched me by the window. That soft, lemon-scented touch that had made me feel I was not alone for the first time in my life. He could not leave! I had to find him.
    I ran back out to the hallway. The housemaid was just gathering up her brushes. ‘Have you seen Master Grey?’ I asked her. ‘Has he gone back to his room?’
    ‘No, miss,’ she said. ‘He went out into the garden a while back.’
    ‘Has a carriage been ordered?’
    ‘No, miss, I don’t think so.’
    He could not be leaving immediately, then. I would have time to find him and talk to him and persuade him to apologise to Father for whatever had caused the upset. It would be all right. He would not go. Besides, he had nowhere else to go to.
    The garden was shiny with the spring dew of morning and the bottom of my skirts grew damp as I hurried across the lawn. The sun was still pale in the sky, the air not yet warm. I wished I had brought my shawl. I knew where he would be and I could not get there quickly enough. There was the stone archway. I ran the last few steps, ducked under the archway and into the flower garden. He was there. Sitting on our bench with his head in his hands.
    ‘Jacob,’ I breathed. ‘Oh, Jacob, I have been looking everywhere for you.’
    He sat still, not even lifting his head.
    ‘Jacob,’ I said again. ‘I have been so scared. You will not leave, will you? You will make better what