Free A Deeper Love Inside by Sister Souljah Page A

my true feeling and all I had to give at that moment.
    • • •
    The female guards and many female staff poured into the gym. Row by row we were body-searched, fingers moving through our hair, hands moving around our necks, shoulders, arms, armpits, fingers, chest, breast, stomachs, asses, private parts, thighs, knees, calves, ankles, toes. As each row was completed, the lead searchers called out, “All clear!”
    When all 150 of us were confirmed “All clear,” the gym door clicked open and the warden walked in, backed up by four moreguards. She dismissed the special guards. She must’ve felt more safe after the gymnasium body search turned up nothing.
    Warden Strickland was a black woman. Her feeling was the opposite of Momma. I mean she was in good body shape, and normally wore either pants suits or skirt suits, but she seemed like a woman who had never been touched by a man, hugged by a small child, or loved by a mother and father. Her skin seemed hard, her eyes empty. Even her hair was stuck in one inflexible position, as though she sprayed it with holding hair spray every morning and never once rinsed or washed the chemical out. Her strut seemed overdone, like she had to move that way to prove she was the warden, but all of us already knew that.
    “Ladies, there’s one fork and one butcher knife missing from the kitchen supply cabinet. If you make it hard on me, I’ll make it unbearable for you. Nobody will leave this facility and no one will be allowed in until the fork and knife are found. That means my staff, who already have worked a full shift, your teachers, the officers, no one can go home until the weapons are recovered. You’re punishing them. You’re punishing me. Now, I’m punishing you. If I don’t get the fork and knife back immediately, I will cancel the upcoming Annual Family Festival. Why? Because if you don’t help me, I won’t help you.”
    A gasp ran through the gym and echoed off of the high walls. A whistle blew. “You have ten minutes. Keep your hands to yourselves. Talk to each other. Then, send the one who is trying to separate you from your fun and families on family festival day up front, where I’m standing. The guilty one will definitely be disciplined, but you will not pay for her poor violent and selfish decision.”
    The prisoners’ talk started out as a murmur and rose to a roar. I thought to myself, The warden is sneakier than any one of us inmates. The lineup was broke up now as everyone took the ten minutes granted by the warden as a break.
    Riot strolled over. “Lay back. It’s not us,” she said.
    Hamesha broke her line and followed Riot. She was way calmer than everyone else. She looked in me and Riot’s eyes, then stood beside us but didn’t say nothing.
    Tiny popped up out of nowhere. “I know you didn’t see me right?” she asked all of us. “I was standing between those two tall girls in theyellow.” She used her head to point them out. “So what do you all think?” Tiny asked.
    “She won’t cancel. She wants us to believe that she will. The festival is for her, not for us. Watch, the stupid robots will believe the warden. In a few minutes they’ll all cave in and start snitching on one another.”
    “But they searched us all already,” I said.
    “Yeah, and while they were searching us in here, and the rest of us on the yard, you better know they were searching our beds, cells, and belongings,” Riot said, and we four fell silent.
    Brawl broke out. Instead of everybody rushing forward to where the fists were swinging, everyone except the fighters fell back leaving a huge space in the left corner that exposed three inmates. Guards raced in and attempted to yank them apart. When Warden ordered the guards to halt, the girls scuffling on the floor suddenly peeled themselves off of the other. They must’ve been shooken by the silence that surrounded them. Normally the inmates would’ve been mobbing up and cheering or choosing sides and