Free The Mummyfesto by Linda Green Page A

in some kind of political riot they never meant to get involved with. And here we were, effectively kettled on the Calendar sofa, everyone’s brains whizzing a bit too much for their own liking. Only Shirley provided a picture of serenity as she gazed dreamily at Derek.
    We were given our cue to make a swift exit and passed the businessman with the booming company in the corridor as he made his way to the studio.
    ‘Great stuff,’ he said, putting his thumb up in a rather awkward fashion. ‘Really inspiring. I’d certainly vote for you.’
    ‘Thank you.’ I smiled, aware that the others were looking at me as if I’d finally lost the plot.
    ‘Well you kept that quiet,’ said Jackie with a smirk, as we waited while Shirley popped to the ladies.
    ‘What?’
    ‘The fact that you were planning to declare we were standing in the general election.’
    ‘I didn’t know she was going to ask the question, did I?’
    ‘I take it you were joking,’ said Anna.
    I thought long and hard before I answered. ‘No,’ I said. ‘I don’t think I was.’

    Zach and Oscar were both in bed by the time I got home. Oscar had apparently declared himself far too excited about seeing me on TV to possibly go to sleep, but had succumbed nonetheless. Zach was still awake though. He never went to sleep until I was home, not that I went out that much. It was like some strange role reversal of an anxious parent listening out for their teenager’s key in the door.
    His head lifted as soon as I opened his bedroom door a crack.
    ‘Night-night, love,’ I whispered, bending to kiss him softly on the forehead.
    ‘You were brilliant, Mummy,’ he said, his arms around my neck pulling me closer.
    ‘Thank you, sweetheart.’
    ‘Oscar was really happy that you said our names.’
    ‘Good. I had to, didn’t I? It was all your idea.’
    ‘Are you going to sort out the country’s problems now, like the lady said?’
    I smiled. ‘I don’t know, sweetie. I’d love to but I don’t want anything to get in the way of being mummy to you and Oscar. That’s my most important job.’
    ‘We don’t mind. We’d share you for a bit. So you can help other people.’
    ‘That’s really kind of you, love,’ I said, stroking his hair. ‘I’m not sure I’ll be able to do it, though. I’d have to standfor election and get lots of people to vote for me. Thousands of them.’
    ‘I’d vote for you.’
    ‘I know you would. Unfortunately you can’t vote until you’re eighteen, though.’
    ‘Well, I’d get grown-ups to vote for you, then. I’d explain how you’re good at helping people.’
    ‘That would be great.’
    ‘You should try, Mummy. You always tell us that we’ll never know if we can do something unless we try.’
    ‘You know, Zach, you talk a lot more sense than most of the grown-ups I know,’ I kissed him again on the forehead. ‘Now, you get some sleep. It’s very late.’
    ‘Love you, Mummy.’
    ‘Love you too.’
    I closed the door quietly and crept back down the stairs. Rob had a cup of tea waiting for me on the kitchen table.
    ‘Thanks, love,’ I said. He looked up at me from his copy of
NME
, his head propped up on his hands, an expression of bemusement on his face.
    ‘You were being serious, weren’t you?’ he asked. ‘About standing in the general election.’
    I nodded. ‘You think I’m crazy, don’t you?’
    ‘Yes, but I always knew that.’
    I smiled. ‘I don’t quite know exactly how or what yet. All I know is that I can no longer just sit here and do nothing.’
    ‘How far do you want to go, exactly? On the scale to world domination, I mean.’
    ‘I don’t want to dominate anything. I just want to try to make things better. To shout about all the things that are wrong and get them put right.’
    Rob nodded slowly, ran his fingers through his mousey hair.
    ‘And how are you going to find time for this? We hardly see each other as it is. You put in far more hours than you’re paid for at the hospice