Free The Hysterics by Kristen Hope Mazzola Page A

is safe with me. We all have a past, just look at me!” She motioned to the name stitched into her white coat.
    “I had no idea you were a freaking doctor!”
    “Yeah, after medical school and all the residency bullshit, I thought music was my true calling. Needless to say, I was wrong. The band is doing well. Silvia Roland took my spot.”
    “That’s great.” It was nice to see someone I knew from my old life coming out of the shadows and succeeding. It gave me hope.
    Dane cleared his throat. “Oh, sorry. Molly, this is Dane.”
    She leaned over me to shake his hand. “You’re one lucky son of a bitch to be having a kid with this chick. She’s as badass as they come.” We all laughed a little. “Well, I am sure dad is really excited to see baby’s first photo, so let’s get to it, shall we?”
    “Sure,” I choked out nervously. It was making me overly comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time that Dane was fitting into his part so well, and that I enjoyed him playing house with me for the afternoon so much.
    The monitor started to show black, gray, and white, until a lima bean-looking orb was visible.
    “That’s the baby. Just about six weeks.” The smile slowly started to fade from Molly’s face as she continued to move the wand around.
    “Is everything ok?” Dane’s voice was low and shaky as he squeezed my hand.
    “Fallon, I can’t find the heartbeat.”
    I felt the air being ripped from my lungs and bile creeping up my throat while my eyes watered from the deep pain of it all. A baby that I wasn’t sure I wanted was dead inside me. The sheer depth of my feelings of selfishness and uncontrollable vulnerability destroyed me on the spot. I shook and screamed out while Molly offered her condolences and Dane rocked me in his arms. I was no longer present; I was falling faster and faster down a rabbit hole of self-loathing and distress.
    Molly’s voice broke into my mind, “Fallon, this is much more typical than you realize. You did nothing wrong.”
    “How can you say that? There’s a dead baby inside me!”
    “Yes, sweetheart, I know. But your body is already starting to show signs of a miscarriage. This will pass like a heavy period, and in the next couple of months, you’ll be able to try again if you want.”
    She handed me a pamphlet on early pregnancy miscarriage and her card with a number scribbled on it. “This is my cell number. Please call me if you need anything.”
    I took the papers and watched her walk out of the room.

Chapter eleven
    Mending – just about 3 weeks later
    DANE
    “Just say yes, Juliet,” I whispered as I walked up behind Fallon as she stood in front of the broken copy machine, about to kick it again and muttering obscenities under her breath.
    She turned with an eyebrow raised and tired eyes. “What?”
    “You’re the one who called me Romeo first. But will you come tonight?”
    “Dane, I told you, I don’t know.” Her weight shifted as a small smile pulled on her lips.
    “But, you want to?”
    She nodded. “Yeah, but I don’t know if I am up for it.”
    I grabbed her hand, squeezing gently. “Let me take you out, get your mind off all this bullshit.”
    She sighed, staring at our interlocked fingers, but stayed quiet.
    “Look, I have a surprise for you. You’ve barely talked to me in weeks, ever since the doctor’s appointment. I get it, you needed space and all that shit, but it’s time for you to smile again. It’ll just be us. Please?”
    “I don’t… I just don’t think I can.” She slowly bit her lip ring, grabbing the papers from the copy machine.
    “What if I told you I’ve missed you?” I cringed at how honest those words were. I had never felt so drawn to a woman before; I hated how vulnerable it made me and how mushy I got when it came to her.
    God, I sound like a freaking pussy!
    “I just don’t feel like going out, having to get dressed up, ya know?”
    “Perfect!” I sounded way too enthusiastic. I took a deep