When my stomach started hurting I was able to stop thinking.
When I saw him, Dr. Weaver took a look at me and said I seemed run down. He wanted me to go to the emergency clinic and have some blood drawn for tests.
“Now, I know how that sounds, but it’s just a precaution and our lab is closed today, otherwise I’d do it here,” he said, and I watched Mom bite her lip before she nodded.
“Laura, it’s all right. You’ve got two wonderful kids. You’re very lucky. You shouldn’t worry so much.”
“But Meggie said she had a headache,” Mom whispered, and there were tears in her eyes. “And when I went into her room she was just lying there staring at the ceiling and all I could think . . .” She broke off, pressing one hand to her mouth. I could see her fingers shaking.
Dr. Weaver patted her on the shoulder. “Frankly, I’m more worried about you than Meggie. I haven’t seen you this upset since David was just a little thing. I know what you went through when you thought Meggie was gone. But children have headaches and stomachaches and it’s perfectly normal. Meggie is perfectly normal.”
I stared at him ( perfectly normal? ) as he flipped through papers in the folder he was holding. “One last look at what I’ve got here before you both go, all right? Let’s see . . . temperature’s normal, pulse is fine, and Megan measured half an inch over five-four, which is a little taller than when we measured her last year. Ah, and she’s up to one hundred twelve pounds—twelve more than last year. That’s very good. Now, I suspect the headache is just a headache, but we’ll run those tests just to make absolutely sure. In the meantime, it can never hurt to get plenty of rest and lots of fluids.” And that was it. He was done and gone, leaving us with a quick goodbye.
Walter was sitting in the waiting room when I came out with Mom, fiddling with his hat. I wasn’t surprised to see him but then he followed us outside. That did surprise me, and my head, which had started to feel a little better, began to hurt again. I closed my eyes and told myself he wasn’t there, but he even followed us into the car.
On our way to the clinic he was in the backseat, just sitting there, waiting, every time I turned around.
“Sweetie, are you looking for something?” Mom asked as we pulled into the clinic parking lot.
“No,” I said, and watched Walter fiddle with his hat, knowing he wasn’t really there but unable to stop seeing him.
He didn’t follow us inside, and when the doors clicked closed behind us, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and wiped my sweating, shaking hands on my jeans.
“You know,” Mom said a minute or two after we’d sat down to wait, “it feels strange to be here without David, doesn’t it? Remember the Fourth of July when he stepped on the rake?”
I nodded, staring at the television bolted to the wall because I was afraid of what I’d see if I looked anywhere else.
“Laura, is that you?” The lab tech, Jackie, poked her head into the waiting room. “It is! I thought I heard you. Wait, where’s David?”
Mom laughed. “He isn’t here today! I was just talking about it with Meggie, actually. How’s Dan doing? How are you doing?” She got up and went over to her and within seconds the two of them had started talking about everything from how their hair looked to things they’d done back in high school. They disappeared back into the clinic, but a second later Mom came out and waved at me to follow.
“Hey there, Meggie,” Jackie said, opening up a lab cabinet. “Let me get everything ready. Laura, how’s work going? Dan wants one of those new lawn tractors and is convinced we’d be able to get credit for trading in the old one. I told him he was crazy. He is crazy, right? Meggie, just have a seat in the chair and hold an arm out for me.”
I couldn’t do it. Walter was back. He was sitting in the chair I was supposed to, still fiddling with his