Free Beastly: Lindy's Diary by Alex Flinn Page A

will.”
    After another hour, we went upstairs and had soup by the fire, even though we’d exercised way too much
    to be cold, and for the first time, I wondered if it wouldn’t be bad to be like this forever, me and Adrian, holed up in our private house in the middle of nowhere, like characters in a Brontë novel—like Jane and
    her blinded Rochester at the end of Jane Eyre. Would it be that bad?
    What have I seen of the rest of the world that would make me think I’d miss it so much?
    And his looks? His appearance has become irrelevant to me. It would be even less relevant here, where
    we can walk outside freely, away from the harsh gaze of the world. After all, aren’t we both equally
    strange, equally damaged?
    The only difference is, my damage is inside.
    Perhaps I love him, not merely despite but because of his appearance.
    Maybe that’s what makes him perfect for me.
    But do I love him enough to give up everything else?
    December 31
    The answer is yes.
    Yes. I love him enough. I love him so much that nothing else matters, not what everyone thinks, not
    normalcy, not conforming to some picture of what people should look like or be, not even the fact that,
    yes, I’ll be trapped here, maybe forever. It doesn’t matter. After all, unlike with my father, it’s not
    Adrian’s fault he’s like this. He’s not weak like my father. Rather, being like this has made him stronger.
    When I first moved into his house, I made a big deal, every night, of locking my door so he wouldn’t be
    able to come in, wouldn’t attack me. Now, I know he would never do something like that. I don’t lock my
    door anymore. I feel safe. I never thought he’d come in.
    But last night, it was colder than usual when I went to bed.
    Bitter, really. And, later, when I woke up, the night air nipped at my skin.
    Then I felt an extra blanket settling onto me.
    I saw his shape. I knew it was him, but I pretended to be asleep. The scene was too intimate. Still, I felt warmed by more than wool.
    I snuggled into that blanket and knew I could stay here forever. Someday, I’ll not only let him into my
    room. I’ll invite him.
    Someday soon . . .
    December 31 (Later)
    We’ve had the most wonderful day! This morning, I was up early, rummaging through the closets (what?
    me, snoop?), and I found a sled! A SLED! I’ve never been on one before.
    But now I have. It was the most incredible experience, flying down a snowy hill, the wind in my face. I
    was a little scared, but Adrian and I went together. He held me. It felt so warm and safe in his arms. I
    wanted to stay there forever.
    I will stay forever. I plan to tell him tonight. I love him.
    The only thing is, I want to check on my father. Just one last time. It’s stupid, I know. Maybe it seems like a step backward after so many months without this crazy, codependent relationship. Still, I worry.
    But tonight, I’ll tell Adrian, and we’ll start the new year together!
    January 1
    Last night, New Year’s Eve, was the night I was going to tell Adrian I loved him. I think Adrian suspected it too. At least, he made the scene very romantic. There was a fire in the fireplace, and I noticed Will and Magda were nowhere to be seen. When I asked Adrian, he said they were watching Times Square on
    television. Outside was bitter cold, but the fire was warm, and Adrian sat beside me on the sofa—not too
    close, but we’d be closer soon enough.
    It was quiet, so quiet. The only sounds that penetrated the silence were the crackling wood and the wind
    from outside. I turned to gaze out the window. It is so dark here, which makes the stars more prominent.
    There were a multitude of them, and just when you think you’ve seen all of them, there are more. What
    looks like a cloud is really the Milky Way. I pictured it as a white hill for sledding angels.
    Adrian was watching, then he said, “Lindy, you don’t still hate me, do you?”
    I smiled. He was so sweet. I said, “What do you think?”
    “I think