Free Pursued by Evangeline Anderson Page A

“I don’t accept that, Sylvan—it has to be bullshit.”
    “I’m sorry, old friend.” Sylvan reached out and put a hand on Merrick’s shoulder. “I can tell you feel strongly for Elise. But you have to remember that those emotions are artificially created. The instant connection between the two of you isn’t a real connection at all and I’m afraid it’s not good for you either.”
    “What the hell do you mean by that?” Merrick demanded, shrugging Sylvan’s hand off his arm.
    Sylvan withdrew and crossed his arms over his broad chest. “I mean, it’s not natural or healthy for either one of you to be so interdependent. An improper bonding can result in soul sickness for a Kindred male, especially in hybrids like yourself, Merrick. And Elise can’t go on being completely physically dependent on you for the rest of her life—getting sick when she’s separated from you for too long.” He shook his head. “That’s no way for her to live.”
    Yes it is! It’s the only way I want to live, Elise wanted to shout. But fear and misery made her hold her tongue. If Sylvan was right—and she had no reason to think he wasn’t—all the affection and need she felt for Merrick was false. And even worse, the feelings he had for her…they were fake too.
    I should have known it was too good to be true, she thought, blinking back tears. Should have known I could never feel so strongly and so quickly for a man—any man—without a reason. And yet, even knowing that the bond between them was fake, it still felt good—better than anything she’d ever had with anyone else, including James—and she didn’t want to lose it.
    “I…I still don’t understand,” she said in a choked voice. “How can a bond—which you said yourself happens between Kindred and their wives—how can it be so bad?”
    Sylvan sighed. “It’s not the fact that you’re bonded but the nature and placement of the bond that’s bad. Think of it like this—a normal pregnancy is a wonderful thing—a beautiful, miraculous gift of the Goddess that brings joy to everyone. That’s like a good, solid, naturally-formed soul bond between a Kindred and his mate.”
    “Right," Elise said, nodding. "And?”
    “But what happens if the pregnancy is ectopic?” Sylvan continued. “If the fertilized egg implants itself somewhere other than the womb? The baby that grows from such an egg can’t survive—it will die without the proper nourishment from its mother’s womb. And it will likely kill her in the process.” He looked at Elise. “Do you see now?”
    “Yes,” she whispered. Sylvan’s analogy made a terrible kind of sense. I’m like a tumor, she thought, feeling ill. An infection inside Merrick. I’m making him sick—hurting him just by being near him. “Yes, it’s clearer now. Thank you.”
    “I still don’t believe it. This is completely fucked up,” Merrick growled angrily.
    “I’m sorry,” Sylvan said quietly. He sounded genuinely distressed—the tone of a good doctor who hated giving bad news. “Truly sorry to have to tell you both this.”
    Elise felt like she was falling apart. Everything she felt, everything she’d thought she knew to be true was suddenly a lie. A falsehood. A fake. She wanted to cry, wanted to find comfort in Merrick’s strong arms. He would hold her, soothe her. Make her feel better. She started to turn to him…and stopped herself. No, I can’t. Can’t impose on him anymore. What we feel isn’t real and if what Sylvan said was true, it might even be hurting him. I have to stay away. Have to keep my distance.
    “Elise…baby…” Merrick said softly and she knew he felt her pain. The compassion and yearning in his tone almost melted her…but somehow Elise stood strong.
    “I’m all right,” she said, dashing tears out of her eyes quickly with the back of her hand. “I’ll be all right, Merrick. Both of us will—we have to.”
    “No we fucking don’t,” he protested. “I don’t care