anything about my life on the weekends. For a second I sit there, my lip curling. âWow,â I say, finally. âI . . . wow.â
GarcÃa calls out, âAll right, back to your seats, everyone.â
I head back to my desk and fume until the bell rings.
Iâm the first one out the door, and I seethe all the way through the halls into the old wing. I smack into Juniper in front of our sixth period, French.
âWhatâs up?â she asks as we head to our row. âYou look like someone insulted
Return of the Jedi
.â
âNo, I justâI talked to Matt Jackson for the first time. GarcÃa gave us this project, and weâre paired up for it.â
Juniper pats my shoulder. âMy deepest sympathies.â
âSympathies accepted. He is so . . .â I make a clenching motion with both hands. âOh my God, infuriating, is what.â
Juni laughs. âWhatâd he say?â
âHe was normal until we were talking about the election, andthen he got all bitchy and just, holy shit.â I crack my knuckles. âOne of us has to win, Juni. Heâs not allowed to win. Okay? Deal?â
âDeal, I suppose. Although I thought you wanted to drop out.â
âI did until, like, forty-five minutes ago.â I flick my hair out of my eyes. âNow I want to win out of sheer spite.â
âNaturally.â Juniper strokes an imaginary goatee, looking sagely into the distance. âYou know what they say. âThree things last forever: faith, hope, and spite. And the greatest of these is spite.ââ
I laugh so hard I have to put my head down on my desk.
BETWEEN SIXTH AND SEVENTH PERIOD, I PASS BY ONE of the student-government lists I taped between rows of lockers. A flash of red catches my eye, and I glance up at it. Somebody has taken a pen to Oliviaâs name. Now it reads: OLIVIA SCOTT SUCKS DICKKKK!!
I roll my eyes and keep walking.
Halfway down the hall, I realize I should have taken that list down, or at least scratched out the graffiti. Why didnât it occur to me to do that? God, Iâm the worst friend.
I stop at my locker, loosing a sigh. The way Olivia bounces from guy to guy these days, I canât get away from references to her sex life. Itâs wearing on meâthe graffiti, all the talk in the halls, the muttered conversations I overhear in class.
This stuff doesnât happen in a vacuumâif you sleep around, people think about you differently. Maybe itâs shitty, but thatâs the way things work, and Olivia knows it as well as I do. Iâve never spoken up. Itâs not like I condone her sleeping around, and insults have always seemed to roll off her back, so why should I bother interfering?
Still, I have a sneaking feeling that it makes me a terribleperson not to stick up for her. A lot of the time, I worry that I am a terrible person and just havenât had it confirmed yet. After all, how are you supposed to know for sure? Whoâs going to tell you? Whoâs going to be the one to break the news?
I scoop up my Young Environmentalists brochures and continue down the hall. Why are all my friends going off the rails lately? Juniper has the alcohol tolerance of a five-year-old, but last Saturday she shotgunned three beers in a row for no apparent reason and ended up wasted. Olivia guessed it was because Thomas Fallon kept hitting on her and she was getting annoyed, but I think if Juni wanted some guy to leave her alone, sheâd tell him.
Sheâd tell
us
if something was wrong, right?
Maybe itâs good that sheâs loosening up, making mistakes. Thatâs how you learn, isnât it, through mistakes? Maybe Juniâs tired of doing everything right.
Heading back down the hall, I pass Andrea Silverstein. A couple of guys beside me wait until sheâs gone and then start snickering about the streak of green dye at the front of her hair.
As always, I feel like I
James M. Ward, David Wise