Free Shafted by Mandasue Heller Page A

the front door. Using the toe of his boot to sift through them, he reached down and picked up several envelopes bearing the King & Johnson stamp. Showing them to Baron before placing them on the hall table, he said, ‘No wonder he didn’t expect us, eh?’
    ‘Lazy bastard wants to try cleaning up once in a while and he’d have known,’ Baron grunted, wandering into the lounge and peering around in disgust. ‘He hasn’t lifted a finger since last time we were here. It smells like a fucking toilet.’
    ‘Yeah, well, that’s his business, not ours,’ Flood said, sliding his hand across the wall and flicking the light switch, only to find that the bulb had blown. ‘We’re not here to judge,’ he went on, picking a careful path through the debris to the window. ‘So let’s just do what we’ve got to do and leave the man in peace.’
    Having changed his wet jeans for a fresh pair, Larry slinked back into the lounge like a dog with its tail between its legs. Flood had opened the blinds so that he and Baron could see what they were doing and, confused by the bright daylight streaming through the windows, Larry glanced at the clock. Having thought it was the middle of the night, he was shocked to see that it was actually nine in the morning. He’d been living in virtual darkness for months, drifting from day to night in a fug of Scotch and bad TV and, now that he could see the filthy hovel that his once-pristine apartment had become, he was so ashamed he could have crawled under a rock and died right then and there.
    ‘You know those letters we sent telling you we were coming?’ Flood said over his shoulder just then, as he concentrated on removing the screws from the panel securing the flat-screen TV to the wall. ‘We just found them in the hall. There’s a fair few, so you might want to look through the rest when you get a chance – make sure you haven’t got any more nasty surprises like this lined up.’
    Grunting a grudging thanks, because he really didn’t see what business it was of theirs if he chose not to open his mail, Larry was further irritated when the other thug pointed out the heap of broken glass in the corner, saying, ‘You want to clear that up before someone gets hurt, mate. Must have been a hell of a party, though, eh?’
    ‘Yes, it was actually,’ he lied, running a hand through his hair. Recoiling at the stench from his underarms, he folded his arms tightly. ‘So, what happens now?’
    ‘Remember we made a list of assets last time we came?’ Flood replied – pretty sure that Larry didn’t remember, because he’d been so off his head at the time. ‘Well, now we remove them.’ Pausing, he turned to look at Larry. ‘Unless you’d rather settle up? Only it’ll have to be in full, I’m afraid, because you’ve already forfeited the right to instalments. Better than losing all your stuff, though, eh?’
    Backed into a corner, Larry sighed and flapped his hands. ‘Don’t suppose I’ve got much choice, have I? It’ll have to be a card, though, because I don’t carry cash,’ he added pointedly, letting Flood’s dodgy-looking mate know that he’d be wasting his time if he had any thoughts about trying to rip Larry off.
    Assuring him that cards were fine, Flood took a small card-reading machine out of his pocket and asked if it would be debit or credit.
    ‘Debit,’ Larry muttered, lifting cushions and sifting through the clothes that were scattered all over the furniture in a bid to locate his wallet. ‘How much is it?’
    ‘Three thousand, six hundred and twenty,’ Flood told him, giving a small sympathetic shrug as he added, ‘Sounds a lot, but these things tend to grow like wildfire if you leave them.’
    ‘ What? ’ Larry squawked, finding the wallet and turning back to Flood. ‘Am I paying the electricity bill for the whole fucking block, or something?’
    ‘This isn’t an electric bill,’ Flood told him patiently. ‘It’s council tax.’
    ‘You’re