drive that leads to Bubba’s Big Picture. We wave at Wanda Carlson, who has worked the ticket booth since before she had grandchildren, and she waves us on through. I’m glad Charlie rented out the drive-in tonight so there’s no awkward “who pays” moment.
We cruise on through, and I fight to catch my breath as something clutches at my chest.
I think it’s humiliation.
“Brian, when Charlie asks about playing in Nash’s band, just tell him you’re off duty tonight.”
He turns off the engine and pushes his door open. “Fear not, my fake date.” His smile does nothing to soothe me. “I happen to be able to rock out with the best of them.”
“That’s great, but I don’t want you to — ” With the slam of his door, I’m cut off. I reach for my door handle, but it won’t budge. My breath catches. I’m stuck in here. I’m stuck in this stinky, carpet-lined van. Get me out. Must . . . get . . . out . . .
“Push on the door.” Brian yells from the other side.
I lean into it, but nothing gives.
“Push harder!”
I push until I’m grunting like a body builder.
Then I rear back and heave myself into the door, pulling the handle with all my might. “The stupid thing won’t — ”
I feel myself dropping as the door releases, emptying me to free-fall.
Right on Brian.
“Oomph!”
We both tumble to the ground.
“Well, aren’t you two cute?”
I lift my head and see Chelsea Blake standing over us. And next to her — the birthday boy himself, Charlie.
I shove myself off Brian as Chelsea’s giggles echo in my ear. “I um . . . uh . . .” I can’t think of a thing to say. I turn to my left and see Frances, and I beg her with my eyes to intercede.
“Happy birthday, Charlie!” She engulfs him in a friendly hug as I help a stunned Brian up from the ground. “This is our friend . . . Joey Farmer. Joey, meet Charlie and Chelsea.”
Brian dusts his hands off on his black jeans, rights his glasses, then smiles his rubber-bandy smile. “Nice to meet you. Hey, you two are a cute couple.”
My face falls. What?
Chelsea giggles some more. “Oh, that’s so sweet. Did you hear that, Charlie?” She tosses her blonde hair. “I’m so glad you’re here, Joey.” Her words are for my date, but her eyes are on me. “You guys are cute too.”
Oh. My. Gosh. If she were a cat, she’d be purring.
Charlie frowns.
At least I think he frowned. Please tell me that was a look of unhappiness that crossed his face at the mention of Brian, er, Joey, being my boyfriend.
“We’re just friends,” I gush. “Totally friends. Just two amigos here. Compadres. Platonic companions, just — ”
“But that’s how all the great romances begin, right?” Brian throws a meaty arm around my waist and hoists me to him. I look down and find him beaming at me. “I think it’s okay to tell these two our little secret, snookie-doo.”
Snookie-doo? Gonna hurl. “I — ”
“Have you two known each other long?” Charlie’s face is neutral.
“Uh . . . no, not really, I — ”
“In our hearts, it feels as if we’ve known each other a lifetime.” Brian winks at me.
“No, it really doesn’t.” I grit my teeth. “We’ve barely — ”
“Had time to process our feelings.” He makes a grab for my hand. “Yet they’re so strong, so true. Words cannot describe what this lady right here means to me.” My date is now channeling Jack Black. “I can’timagine letting this one go. No way.”
And for his finale, Brian snorts in a guffawing crescendo.
“We’re just gonna get the blankets.” I jerk Brian by the arm and lead him behind his van. “You!”
“What? Not enough? I can amp it up a bit.”
I clutch my hands to keep from strangling him. “Not enough ? Too much! Too much, Brian.” Inhale. Exhale. “Look, I appreciate your coming tonight, but I was very clear you were to pose as my friend. Not my . . .” A chill chases up my spine. “Ew! Just nothing. Let’s just