Free Bittersweet Heroine by Yolanda Olson Page B

realization of who had been doing this to me and why Kerstan had once told me that I wasn’t ready for this encounter yet made more sense to me than anything in the world.
    Luuk was actually Smith Lennox; Theo’s younger brother and we have a very bitter history.
    Smith never thought I was good enough for Theo and Theo always thought that Smith thought I was perfect enough for him. I never thought of Smith as anything other than my true love’s brother; he never thought of me as anything other than a meaningless whore, which he had told me I was quite a few times, prompting endless fights with Theo. It got worse when I slipped one night and drunkenly had sex with Smith and with as much as I hate to readmit this to myself, I know that Theo chose me over his family and that only wound up sending Smith to a dark place of resentment and apparently vengeance.
    A soft tap at the door distracted me from my thoughts. I glanced over as it began to open slowly and Famke peeked her head timidly in.
    “Amity?”
    “Still here,” I confirmed softly.
    “Can I come in?” she asked.
    “Yes, but be careful not to push the door closed all the way or we’re both fucked until Luuk decides to let us out,” I said emphasizing his name angrily.
    I watched her as she came into the dimly lit room, pulling a chair in behind her, and closing the door only slightly. Famke brought her chair over and sat it across from me, smiling as she sat. I raised an eyebrow at her and crossed my arms over my chest waiting to find out what she wanted. I knew she was only trying to be kind, hell the girl had traveled half of Amsterdam to find me, but I wasn’t in the position to start making friends now. Especially knowing that Minnie was upstairs somewhere being left to the sadistic whims of that piece of shit.
    “You know him, don’t you?” she asked, after a few moments of thoughtful silence.
    I nodded.
    “How?”
    “That’s none of your business,” I said, shaking my head, “I’m sorry, I don’t want to be a bitch to you because I know what you went through to make Betje feel better, but I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep trying to befriend you girls only to have you traded off, raped, beaten, or killed. I have enough on my conscience already and he’s just another reminder of where I went wrong.”
    My words stung her, I could tell by the look on her face. I would be as verbally abusive to them as I had to be to be able to keep them all safe regardless of how they would think of me in the end. Unfortunately my priorities had switched now. Instead of coming to break Minikin out, I spent my days in this room wondering what I could possibly give Smith to let her go.
    “Tell me something,” Smith said entering the room and giving Famke such a dangerous look that she left me alone with him. “How many years did you think it was my brother that did this to you? How many years did you fuck random men and women for money and just know that it had to be him even if you never uttered the words out loud?”
    The smug look on his face as he took the seat across from me was enough to make me want to punch him in the face. Unfortunately for me, once I came to realize who had sold me to Kerstan, I had lost all of my inner strength. The fire that burned inside of me night after night, man after woman after man, seemed to be snuffed out immediately.
    “I never suspected Theo,” I replied quietly.
    “Liar!” he yelled, slamming his fist on the table. “You always suspected him, because of how horribly you hurt him. It’s okay to finally admit it, Amity. If it makes it easier on you, he stopped loving you when you whored around with me. I might even think it’s safe to say that he never truly loved you.”
    I felt the hot tears stream down my cheeks and wiped them away quickly before they had a chance to fall completely. I sniffled and took a deep breath. I wanted desperately to tell him how wrong he was and how in love Theo and I were and how