Free For Always by Danielle Sibarium Page A

thank you.”
    George burst into laughter. “A real goody two shoes this one.”
    Lydia began to sing, “Don’t drink, don’t smoke, what do you do?”
    Chris returned to my side, and put his arm around me protectively, “Back off.”
    Just like that, they did.
    We walked up my front steps at five to eleven. Chris and I hung out on my stoop for a little while, talking some more. I wouldn’t have minded if he left, but I could tell he wanted to stay. I felt knots forming in my stomach, as he inched closer to me. He took my hand in his.
    I didn’t want this to happen. It was all wrong. He was going to kiss me, and all I could do was wish he were Jordan. I figured since I was going to hell anyway, this would barely bleep on the radar compared to my other much larger transgression.
    Almost another full week went by before I spoke to Jordan. I’d seen him in the halls on the way to class and waved, but I was too cowardly to talk to him. He didn’t look happy when he saw me, and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was because I wasn’t stopping at his locker in the morning, or because I made it a point to wave in the hall.
    My breath caught in my throat as I got to my last class and found Jordan standing by the door, waiting for me.
    “Hi,” I felt a strange combination of excitement and apprehension.
    “Want a ride home?”
    “I’d love to but . . .” I swallowed hard trying to find my voice, “I have other plans.”
    “Oh.” He looked away, “Some other time.” It only took him an instant to disappear into the crowd. And then it was too late to change my mind.
    Ugh! I wanted to kick myself. Why the hell would I not just ditch Chris, and his halfway house gang, and go with Jordan? Simple. I knew I wouldn’t see Chris before dismissal and he’d be pissed if I just blew him off. I didn’t want to end up on the transportation hit list.
    The bus ride dragged. I must have been more quiet than usual because each of my new acquaintances (I still had a hard time calling them friends) asked if I was alright. How could I explain to them one very poor lapse of judgment may have just foreshadowed the course of my entire high school existence?
    Especially, since they were the cause of my consternation. Them, and Chris’ hand high up on my thigh. He wasn’t moving it or doing anything obnoxious, but it made me nervous. I didn’t like the implication. I belonged to him.
    I told Chris my mother and I had plans for the weekend. I needed some time away from him and his crew. I needed to figure out what I was doing and why it felt so wrong.
    “Are you seeing anyone else?” he asked, his face hard and stone-like.
    “No.”
    “You better not be.”
    My stomach twisted and knotted. A chill ran up my spine. This was so not good. I wanted out. Now. Before things got worse. I just needed to figure out exactly what to say to him so we could part in an amiable way.

    Eleven
    On Saturday morning I decided to lie around in pajamas and watch television. Not like there was anything particularly good on, but it was a good time to catch up with what was on the DVR.
    Mom went grocery shopping. She didn’t need much, so my staying home wasn’t a problem. I knew once she got home I’d be relegated to unpack the car.
    I heard the keys jingle in the lock and paused the show I’d been watching.
    “Stephanie!” Mom called annoyed. “What are you still doing in your pajamas?”
    “Don’t worry. I’ll just throw my coat on over them.”
    “Rethink,” Mom retorted before I could get out the door. “Someone is waiting for you outside. He’s talking to Maria.”
    I let out a long, frustrated sigh. “I told Chris I couldn’t see him.”
    She shook her head. “Not Chris. Some strange boy with long hair. I swear I thought it was a girl from behind.”
    “Huh?” My mind was muddled. “I don’t know anyone who looks like that.”
    “He says his name is Jordan.”
    The wild excitement bursting through my veins had me jumping for