Free Living a Lie by Josephine Cox Page A

stark naked. I washed, dressed, and got out of there before anyone saw me.”
    “So you didn’t remember anything about it? I mean … with him?” Kitty was disappointed.
    “I couldn’t remember that particular time. But I can remember every single time since.”
    “Tell me?”
    “Well… there was the son of that second couple who fostered me. His name was Jack, and he had a cock like a hammer.” Her eyes rolled as she went on, “He was twenty70
    two. a nice bloke as I recall. Trouble was, he took too much of a shine to me . began to think I was his own private property. In the end I threatened to tell the authorities. “
    “And did you?”
    “No. I just ran away.”
    “What was it like … with him, I mean?”
    “It was all right, I suppose. Same as with the one afterwards … their plonker pushes its way in and you get a kind of tickling feeling. Afterwards, you feel tired and excited all at the same time.
    It doesn’t hurt, not really. Mind you, I wasn’t a virgin any more, so I expect that helped. ” She lay back on the bed again.
    “I know a lot about men,” she confessed.
    “I know how bad they can be, and I know how good they can be. I know they can hurt you if they want, and I know they can make you feel like a princess too.”
    Kitty was swamped with memories of her parents.
    “My dad was like that,” she said.
    “Sometimes he made my mother laugh, but more often he made her cry.”
    “That’s what I mean, gal. And if you’ve any sense, you’ll steer clear of men who make you cry… the bullies, I mean … the ones who only know how to use their fists.” She gave Kitty a strange look, “Do you think Harry would ever use his fists?”
    “Never!” If Kitty was certain of anything, she was certain of that.
    “How do you know?”
    “I just know, that’s all.”
    “Would you like Harry to make love to you?” Rolling sideways, Georgie looked up into Kitty’s blushing face.
     
    “Tell the truth, shame the devil,” she said mischievously.
    “You love him like mad, don’t you?”
    It took Kitty a moment to gather her courage, but when she spoke it was with a conviction that surprised the other girl.
    “If loving is wanting to be with him all the time … if it means going to sleep thinking of him and waking up the same way … if loving is a feeling that hurts and makes you feel lonely and happy all at the same time, then yes, Georgie, I do love Harry. So much it frightens me.”
    Georgie’s smile was knowing, yet compassionate.
    “There’s no doubt about it, gal, you’re in love.” Her expression grew serious.
    “But you shouldn’t be frightened of loving someone.” Knowing the roots of Kitty’s fear, she could understand.
    “Look, gal… all marriages don’t end up wrong. Some last for a lifetime. If you think Harry’s right for you, and if he feels the same, then you shouldn’t let anything come between you. On the other hand, if you really are frightened and think it might all go wrong, it might be best if you ran a mile.” An old look came over her young face.
    “Cause when a man and woman get together, there are no guarantees.”
    “This will be the last letter I’ll get from him,” she said sadly.
    “He and I might long to be together one day, but I don’t think it can happen. I’m going to live with strangers, and he’s going to university.”
    “Does he say it will be the last letter?”
    “No.” Kitty was already hardening her heart to the inevitable.
    “But don’t you see, we’ll be worlds apart?”
    “Read the letter to me, gal. Unless it’s too private?”
    Kitty shook her head.
    “It’s all right.” While she unfolded the letter, Georgie lay down and closed her eyes. Her sense of mischief returning, she pleaded, “I’m very sensitive, and I’ve been brought up proper, so you’d better miss out the naughty bits… like the one where he wants to rip your clothes off and have his wicked way with you.”
    Shaking her head, but loving