meâinspecting me for flaws. Quietly, Josh says, âHey, Eden, I saved your spot.â
âOh. Well, thanks. Iâm going to the library though.â
He looks disappointed. âTomorrow then,â he says with a shrug, brushing it off.
âSure.â
And then he looks up at me with his smile, and I can feel his eyes watching me as I leave. Iâm barely breathing. My heart feels light and fastâtoo fast.
I walk through the doors of the library, quietly making my way to her office. I see her sitting at her desk going through some papers. I knock softly.
âEden, come on in!â She smiles, her voice warm.
I sit down in one of her chairs. âHi, Miss Sullivan.â
âSo, to what do I owe this pleasure?â
âI just wanted to say hi.â I just needed a place to hide. Again.
âThatâs so sweet. Thank you, Eden.â Thereâs this pauseâthis silence that lasts too long. Thankfully, she fills it. âYou know, I was just thinking back to last year. I remember you had initially wanted to volunteer?â
âOh yeah, I did.â Iâd nearly forgotten.
âWell, thereâre still some spots open . . . if youâre interested, that is.â
âReally? Yeah, I am. I mean, yes. Definitely!â
âOkay. When are you free?â she asks, pulling up the schedule on her computer.
âNow, I guess. I have study hall, and then directly after I have lunch, so I could even volunteer third and fourth periods. I mean, if you need me. If you need help, I mean.â
âWell, I do need help, but I want you,â she says pointedly, tracing her finger along the boxes of her calendar. âOkay! Weâre in luck; it looks like thatâs going to work out perfectly!â
âGreat. When do I start?â
âNo time like the present,â she says, opening her arms in this welcoming gesture. Miss Sullivan takes me through the checkout process and teaches me about the database and how to locate the books on the shelves. She watches while I check out my first customer.
âYouâre a natural!â she tells me. I smile back at her, not with my new smile but my real one. Iâm glad to be around her againâshe makes me feel like maybe I really am normal. Like things really will be okay.
âSO, SOMETHING REALLY WEIRD happened yesterday,â I tell Mara as we begin our walk home from school.
âOooh, what?â she asks eagerly.
âSo, do you know that guy Josh Miller? Heâs a senior on the basketball team?â
âOf course.â
âYeah. Of course. Well, he was talking to me. Like talking to me. It almost seemed like . . . I donât know. No, forget it. Itâs stupid.â I laugh.
âNo, what? You have to tell me nowâIâm hooked!â
âOkay. But first, believe me, I know full well exactly how stupid this is going to sound,â I warn her.
âOh. My. Godâjust tell me!â she demands, laughing.
âWell, you know how I dropped band? So, I got put in this study hall instead. And heâs in thereâJoshâand he gave up the seat next to him so I could sit there. And then he was trying to talk to me, almost like he was actually . . . interested.â I wait for her to start laughing, but she just continues to look at me. âInterested in me, I mean,â I clarify.
âOkay, first of all, why would you think I would think thatâs stupid? And second of all . . . WOOO-HOOOO!â she screams, jumping up and down right in the middle of the street. âYEEEEESSSS!â
âOh my gosh, stop! Youâre crazy!â I yell. But weâre both laughing uncontrollably.
âSo what happened next?â she asks, her laugh fading as she tries to catch her breath.
âWhat do you mean? Nothing. Was something supposed to happen next?â
âI mean, how did you leave things? What exactly