Free Forgotten Dreams by Katie Flynn Page A

what my mam calls a white lie, ’cos it does no harm and makes folk feel good. And think o’ the marvellous stories Louella tells you sometimes. Why, when she telled us the story of Moses in the bulrushes, it was clear as clear . . . she made a picture, like, an’ it went into our minds. I could see the big ole river, an’ the crocodiles what were tryin’ to get the baby out o’ the reed basket so’s they could eat it for their dinners, an’ the beautiful girl walkin’ along the river bank an’ singin’ a song an’ not even thinkin’ about babies . . . I’d heared it in church, an’ school, an’ I’d even read a bit of it in the Bible, yet when your mam telled it . . . d’you know wharr I mean, queen?’
    ‘Yes, I do. She’s a perishin’ wonder at tellin’ tales. Max says she’s a real actress – that’s why she can make you see what she sees, inside her head. But I didn’t say she told lies, I said sometimes the things she says aren’t true,’ Lottie pointed out, remembering her mother’s marvellous stories with real pleasure. ‘Max says she embroiders and Jack Russell says she exaggerates, but what I’m trying to say is that sometimes she gets a bit muddled between what’s real and what’s not, if you understand me.’
    Kenny’s brow lightened. ‘Oh, you mean like telling you your dad were killed by the traction engine one day and a Guinness lorry the next,’ he said. ‘But those things don’t matter, queen. What matters is that your dad were killed in a traffic accident, and your mam telled you that. D’you see what I mean?’
    ‘Yes. But when Louella talks about what happened to me before my accident she’s always sort of vague, and I don’t want a story, I want the plain, unvarnished truth,’ Lottie said a little plaintively. ‘She told me we lived in Rhyl for two years but when I wanted to know where we lived before Rhyl, she said we were on tour, going all over the place, and that I wouldn’t remember anyway because little kids don’t. Sometimes – oh, Kenny, sometimes I think she’s hiding something from me, hiding it on purpose I mean, and that’s kind o’ worrying.’
    ‘Yes, it would be,’ Kenny acknowledged. ‘But what makes you think that, queen? I mean, what reason would your mam have for keeping you in the dark? It don’t seem to make sense.’
    ‘No, it doesn’t, though there must be a reason,’ Lottie said. ‘But you know how I’ve always loved circuses? Yet Louella never told me that we were with a circus for a while in Rhyl and she must have known how it would have thrilled me. Of course I’d have asked lots of questions, but surely that wasn’t enough for her to keep it from me? It was Baz who told me about the circus, but when I wanted to know all about it, Louella just said we weren’t with them long, and went out of the room. Oh, I know she thinks circuses are low, which could be the reason she fobbed me off, but I still want to know what happened before the accident. Kenny, it was six whole years, just gone, disappeared. Sometimes I feel as though I’m only half a person, as if I only began to exist after the accident . . . it’s horrid, I’m tellin’ you.’
    ‘It sounds as though you’ve been cut in half, like your mam is in Max’s magic act,’ Kenny said. He guffawed at his own wit and Lottie smiled too, though somewhat reluctantly.
    ‘Yes, all right. I know it sounds silly but it might help if I could go back to Rhyl some time and see what I can find out.’
    ‘Awright, awright, don’t get upset. You know I’m your pal and I’ll do everything I can to help you,’ Kenny said quickly. ‘I’ll even go wi’ you to Rhyl, though I don’t see it’s goin’ to help much.’
    ‘Thank you, Kenny. You are kind to me,’ Lottie said humbly. ‘Though I reckon it’ll be next summer before I can save up enough for us to have a day in Rhyl again.’
    ‘Mebbe so,’ Kenny said, heaving her to her feet. ‘And now let’s see who can