Free A Walk in Heaven by Marie Higgins Page B

much as you did. I didn’t know him that well, but in the time I did know him, I can honestly say I loved him,” she said the word simply as though offering up her part, but not in a way meant to be convincing or false. “I’m sorry you didn’t approve of Matthew marrying me, but he’d been my hero, and he always will be.” She gave a hard swallow, still maintaining direct eye contact. “I don’t want to feud with Matthew’s brother. I want to honor all he did for me, and I want to know the people who raised such a kind and giving man.”
    Joshua stood before her at a total loss. Words…emotions…tender moments…he’d never been good at any of those things, and the longer Careen stared at him with those huge, pleading eyes, the more helplessness grew inside him.
    He averted his gaze, knowing he should say something. But what? He’d despised Careen from the moment he’d learned his brother would marry, because Joshua knew the folly of marriage to a stranger all too well. The prospect of Matthew being sucked into a similar trap – of binding himself to a woman like Joshua’s own wife – had left him physically sick.
    Except that Careen wasn’t Emma, and for the first time, a hint of doubt that he’d misjudged his sister-in-law wiggled into his brain.
    Tears trembled at the base of her lids and began slipping down her cheeks. Joshua’s heart twisted. There was nothing contrived or theatrical about these tears. She appeared truly heartbroken.
    Inwardly, he groaned and rubbed his forehead. I’m such a cad! In his father’s book, there was no greater sin than making a woman cry.
    A harsh sob wracked Careen’s slender frame, sparking him to action. He crossed the room and gingerly touched her shoulders. She jerked away, but he couldn’t just stand there while she bawled! And he couldn’t leave her like his this, either. He’d love nothing more than to bolt.
    On pure, male instinct, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She stiffened and he expected her to pull away again, but at the last moment, she relaxed, and – it was the strangest thing – because she fit. Her shoulder snuggled perfectly beneath his, and the top of her head brushed his chin. Never had such a sense of perfection and rightness overcome him while embracing a woman. On impulse, Joshua drew her closer, resting his chin atop her hair. She surrendered further, nestling in, and his heart softened just a little more.
    “ Shh …please don’t cry,” he said softly.
    Careen lifted her head, eyes overflowing with emotion. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I don’t mean to be like…like this . I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be feeling right now or how to behave. I became a wife and a widow all in the same day, and…and…” A fresh rush of sobs burst forth.
    Joshua wrapped the other arm around her as well, tugging her into the circle of his arms. He didn’t know what else to do, and after a few moments, her cries quieted to soft sniffles, and finally to hiccups.
    “I suppose it’s my turn to apologize,” he said gruffly. If he was lousy with emotional moments, then he was downright terrible when it came to apologies. “I haven’t handled my brother’s death very well, and may have, uh, judged you unfairly.”
    She shrugged, shifting away. “That is understandable. Matthew’s death was all so sudden.” She met his gaze. “Is there a right way to grieve? I’m terrible at this.”
    His lips quirked in a wry smirk. “That, I couldn’t tell you.” He ran the pad of his thumb over her cheek, catching a few tears.
    Careen wrapped her arms around herself and stepped back, gazing around the room. “I wish I’d had more time to know him.”
    “He was a good man. Better than me.”
    She turned those wide, watery eyes on him again. “I wish I understood why God took him from me so soon. Just as I found the man of my dreams, he was snatched from my arms. Did you know we had just left the church when he was