Free Cheating on Myself by Erin Downing Page A

the most sense.” He looked at the check with interest. “Oof, you’re not a cheap date, are you?”
    “I guess not.” This time, I couldn’t suppress my laughter. For some reason, Jonathan joined me. I was laughing at him, but I really don’t think he realized that. “Well, it was nice getting to know you,” I said, hoping to make it home in time for House Hunters.
    Jonathan grinned, and leaned forward to hug me, right there at the table. “Yeah, it’s been fun hanging out with you, too.” The smell of leaky basement was overwhelmingly pungent, and I knew I had to get out of there. “My grandma’s home tonight, so is it cool if we go to your place?”
     

 
     
    CHAPTER FIVE
     
    A full week later, I sat in the front seat of Cat’s minivan, ignoring Pippa kicking at my seat from behind. Cat and I hadn’t talked a lot since our drinks night the week of the split, and I’d been missing both her and the girls. When I called to invite myself over to their house the weekend after my date with Jonathan, Cat begged me to join them at some festival they were going to in a local park. It was a Children’s Festival, sponsored by Centrex, and the girls’ favorite band was playing for free on the big outdoor stage.
    I’d happily agreed, looking forward to special time with Heidi and Pippa, but I also longed for something that would get me out of the house. I’d been holing away all week, nervous amidst the whispers of layoffs at work and obsessed with the potential dates they were flagging for me at my online dating site. Anders and I had spent most nights at home that week, searching through the photos of eligible bachelors and laughing. It was juvenile, I know, but after the experience with Jonathan, I was allowed to be picky.
    “Do you just get a fresh batch of guys to pick from every day?” Cat asked, peeking in the rearview mirror at her girls. Cat’s nanny, a cute twenty-year-old French girl, sat in the back row of the minivan. Even though she had her nanny along to help, Cat was always paranoid and overwhelmed when she was with her daughters. It was frightening to ride in the car with her, since she was constantly interacting with her daughters in the back. Some obnoxious bluegrass music was playing over the car speakers, and Heidi was busy singing along. “Pippa, stop kicking Stella!”
    “There have been a lot of profiles to look through,” I said, grabbing Pippa’s foot behind me to tickle it. “I’ve only contacted one person, so far. We’re going out tonight.”
    “Whoa, two Saturday nights in a row? You’re a real swinging single.” Cat smiled, but I knew she was still finding it hard to talk to me about anyone other than her brother. It was definitely weird between us, and that sucked. I wanted to tell her how much I was missing Erik, how much I was thinking about him and wondering what he was doing, but I knew if I opened that line of conversation, she’d just enable me to dwell. I had to make her believe I was coping, in part to help convince myself.
    We pulled into a parking spot and I helped lift Pippa and Heidi out of the car. They ran ahead with their nanny while Cat and I dawdled behind. We walked through the grassy pathways in silence, both of us probably thinking about how awkward it would always be for us to talk about my dating life. “Do you want to hear about this?” I asked finally. “Is it weird for me to talk about other guys with you?”
    “No,” Cat insisted. “I don’t want you to think you have to filter yourself, just because of Erik. I’m not going to tell him anything, you know.”
    “I wouldn’t mind if you did, actually. I sort of want him to know I’m functioning without him.” I shrugged. “That’s normal, right?”
    “I’ll do my best to slip in some little anecdotes when I see him.” She stepped lightly on the grass, balancing on her toes to keep her heels from sinking into the not-yet-frozen ground. “I think he’s really missing you,”