mourning a relationship that never even began.
Chapter Five
Two weeks go by and I’m still thinking about Seth. I purposely go to the library in the afternoons, knowing that story time is long over and that he is probably busy flipping burgers. Thankfully, Lisa hasn’t had another burger craving saving me the humiliation of being faced with Seth again, although if he even remembered me I’d be surprised.
I’ve been devouring novels like they are ice cream sundaes and I’ve already blown through my English teacher’s suggested summer reading list. I’ve decided that I’m really going to bring it with my grades next year. I know I’m capable of getting straight A’s and Chastity seems to hate me no matter what my grades are so I might as well do something to benefit myself for a change.
I’ve still got the whole afternoon to kill and I decide to surprise Dad and Lisa by cooking dinner for them. I scour the Internet looking for a recipe that is equally delicious and simple but will still impress Lisa.
Chastity would die if she knew how much I admire and respect Lisa. She’d probably make some crack about how immature she is just because she’s a little younger than Dad, or how she can only manage having a full-time job, cooking, cleaning, and DIY projects because she doesn’t have any brats to contend with. There’s always an excuse anytime Chastity perceives anybody one upping her. She doesn’t have the ability to look inside herself and recognize that she just lacks some things.
I find a recipe for Chicken Marsala casserole and it sounds like something they would like. I check the cabinets and refrigerator and, unsurprisingly, Lisa already has all the ingredients. I gather everything on the island and start assembling the casserole. Once I’m done, I pop it in the refrigerator until I’m ready to cook it. I’m beside myself at the thought of surprising them with a special dinner. I whip up a bowl of brownie mix so that dessert can be cooking while we eat.
I head upstairs to take a shower. I peel off my clothes and examine myself in the wall-size bathroom mirror. There’s no hiding it anymore, Lisa’s delicious cooking is bringing back the soft curves that I used to love so much. My chest is so much fuller that my girls are overflowing the cups of my bra and it gets harder and harder to button my shorts every day. I usually just lounge around in my bikini bottoms until Dad and Lisa get home to avoid their stranglehold on my waist. If I keep this up, I might have to plead with Dad for a little bit of money for clothes.
I run my hands down my body, pleased with how the stick thin girl is disappearing. I feel more myself than I have in almost two years. And the more I feel like myself, the stronger I feel. Like anything is possible.
I turn on the water as hot as I can stand and get in, pulling the shower curtain closed behind me. I take my time shaving my legs, loving that it seems like there is an endless supply of hot water. I had no idea how calming water could be when you weren’t worrying about someone walking in on you. And as much as I love Wade, he thinks it’s fun to pour out all my bath products which makes me crazy.
I wash my hair three times hoping that the black will fade. I’m tired of looking like this. I want my old self back. None of my weight loss or appearance changes made Phil stop trying to touch me or made Chastity love me so I might as well feel good about myself. I wonder if Lisa would be willing to help me fix my hair and possibly fund some new clothes. I’m going to try and work up the courage to ask her.
I pull on my too tight clothes and go downstairs to pop the casserole in the oven. I set the table then head out to get the mail. The timer for dinner goes off at the exact same moment that the garage door goes up. I timed it perfectly.
“What is that amazing smell?” Lisa asks, walking inside. She looks really tired making my idea seem even better.
“I