Free Facing Me by Cat Mason Page B

to say ‘I love you’ because I didn’t want to say it over the
phone.  What I should do, is call him back and tell him to fuck off.
 Tell him I’ve moved on with Luke and listen to him squirm.  Even if
that's not entirely true.  Would he even care if I did?  That’s the
million dollar question.  Am I even on his thoughts while he is banging a
different groupie every night?  He’s not giving a shit about the chick who
couldn’t say the only thing he commanded me to admit more than once. 
Aiden knew my body, every thought in my head, and my feelings better than me at
times but I couldn’t say the three words.    Finally, when I do,
it’s not good enough?  I spent days analyzing the entire trip, but still I
come up empty handed.
    Shaking off the
bad vibes, I decide to call Daisy later and check in after my date.  Chase
has demanded we go out and eat food not in plastic bins.  Luke was eager
to agree, saying it was about time he got to show me off.  Harmless,
unless you’re like me and prefer the background.  I don’t want to be on
display.  If you are front and center, you are open for judgment.  I
try hard to avoid it.  
    My bedroom door
flies open, my ass flying nearly off the chair. “I just let Luke in.” Chase
starts then shrieks. “See, this is why you need me.” She tisks, flopping on to
my bed, clothes flying everywhere. “What the hell is this shit?  You
cannot be my friend, go out with my brother and walk out in public wearing
this!  Especially, when we know what kinda hot bod is underneath it.”
    “What’s wrong
with my clothes?” I ask her reflection in the mirror.
    “That’s just
it.” She sighs. “You get all toned, cut your hair off in that sexy layered
deal, but you hide away.  Quit hiding Cam.” She stomps across the room in
pure Chase all-out dramatic fashion, toward me. “Stand tall, be proud of the
fuckin’ vixen you are.  Shit you wreck ‘em babe.”
    I ignore her
until she slaps a dress in my face; deep blue lace covering white fabric that
barely covers the goods.  I bought it months ago but have never been able
to wear it. “Cut the tags off of this sexy thing and work that ass.”
    I roll my eyes,
because, yes, I could fight with Chase about this for hours but she is
relentless and I will lose.  So I nod, grab the hanger, and stomp into the
bathroom to change.  Once I’m done, Chase dives into my hair then re-does
my makeup.  After sulking for the better part of an hour, I watch her
smile. “You’re one beautiful bitch, if I do say so myself.  One day you
might start believin’ it.” She recaps my lipstick and yanks my arm. “Now go
have fun.”
    My eyes meet the
reflection in the mirror.  I stand there in shock.  My hair is curled
in loose spirals that she has pinned back out of my face.  My eyes are
framed in gold and brown while my lips are deep red.  “I look…”
    “Hot.” She
finishes with a grin. “I’m a total jealous bitch of you and those long ass legs
you have.” Chase teases, slapping my hip. “Now, let’s go.  Luke’s been
waitin’ long enough, poor guy will starve to death.  I’ll let myself out.”
    Chase giggles
and reminds me to breathe.  Why the hell am I so nervous?  I never
was with Aiden, even that first night.  This is Luke, I remind myself.
 The same guy who was so scared of the movie Insidious ; he wouldn’t
go home in the dark.  We spent the entire night on the floor of my living
room, trying to sleep with all the lights on.  Oh that’s right, because
it’s the same Luke who came into my office one day, kissed me stupid, then we
decide to try to be more than friends.  Now I'm desperate to feel a
fraction for Luke, hell anyone, like I felt for Aiden.  If I can cheapen
or lessen what we had then it won't hurt so much that I'll never have it again.
    I am about to
run back into my bedroom and hide, but I remember what Chase has been saying.
 Swallowing my nerves and trying to dismiss Aiden