Free Sweet Agony (Sweet Series Book 1) by Jessie Lane Page A

on from her obsession with me. We weren’t ready; I knew that. Still, the what if’s kept taunting me. I had a plan. However, I constantly feared that, because I had not told her I already considered her mine, she would move on to some other schmuck.
    The thought of a fumbling idiot touching her nearly drove me to insanity whenever my doubts arose. It was hypocritical of me for sure, since I was now fucking my way through the base, much like I had done in high school. The more I found release, the more pent up frustrations would build inside me that it wasn’t Ginny.
    Of course, at nineteen, nothing about my conflicted emotions had changed. All of my fantasies starred one blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl on the cusp of becoming a woman, one who was still not ready for me.
    On Christmas Eve, I headed home for my first visit since joining the Army. Part of me started to wonder if maybe I should tell her how I felt, but the issue of her still being underage quickly killed that idea. I had more at stake now with being legal and having a career. Even if I told her she would be mine without touching her, I didn’t need anyone to make assumptions. Plus, I was trying to give her time to be Ginny. My gut screamed at me that she wasn’t ready for the white picket fence I had once overheard her telling my sister she wanted so badly.
    The present I had bought for her practically burned a hole in my pocket as I tried to picture what the look on her face would be when I gave it to her. I might have to leave the girl who was made for me behind, but I would make sure to leave a piece of me with her.
    My attempts to distract myself from those thoughts didn’t work well, though. In fact, I was so lost in my head about what I wanted to do versus what I needed to do that the cab driver had to tell me three times that my ride was over, which made me feel like a fucking idiot since we were sitting in my parents’ driveway.
    By the time I got to the front door, I was damn near fretting like a little, old lady. Even the warm hugs of my family members, the familiar sights of all of my mom’s Christmas decorations, and the smell of home cooked food didn’t help. I felt wired to the max, yet I did my best to hide it. The last thing I needed was for any of them to catch on to the fact that I wasn’t myself and ask me why.
    I wouldn’t be able to give them the truth, which would sound something like,“Because I’m in love with an underage girl, and it makes me feel like a pervert since I want nothing more than to take her to my bed and fuck her out of my system with her ankles up by my ears while I make the headboard slam against the wall. And eventually, I’ll get around to telling her I’ve been in love with her since I was sixteen.”
    I wouldn’t need my family to beat me bloody for saying something like that; I would kick my own ass for it.
    After getting through dinner and catching up with what all of my siblings had been up to, I headed to my old room to try to catch some shut eye. That didn’t work out too well for me, and I ended up spending most of the night staring at my ceiling. Then I spent half of Christmas Day sneaking glances at the front door, waiting for Ginny to show up. She and her mom always came over to spend part of the day with us.
    On pins and needles, my stomach was half in knots that my worst fears had come to pass. What if she hadn’t shown up yet because she was at some schmuck’s house, spending the day with him? That dour thought led to me daydreaming about going over to said schmuck’s house and ripping him limb from limb before throwing Ginny over my shoulder, caveman style.
    When our doorbell finally rang, I somehow managed to keep myself from jumping up and running to the door. It took every ounce of willpower I had, but I managed to keep myself seated on the living room couch while my brother answered the door. That didn’t mean I wasn’t holding my breath while waiting for her entrance.
    Then, when