Free Generation Loss by Elizabeth Hand Page A

coffee. "But you know what? I don't even know what the
fuck I'm doing here. I think I better just get back into my god-dam car and
drive back to New York."
    "That
would be a long way to come to have a cup of coffee and sleep—where did you
sleep last night, anyway?"
    "The
Lighthouse."
    "That
would definitely be a long way to come to sleep at the Lighthouse."
    Toby
tapped his cigarette and tucked it behind his ear, folded up his tobacco packet
and rolling papers and put them away.
    "Well,
if you still want to get over there to Paswegas, I'll take you," he said.
    I
stared at him in disbelief. "You can take me?"
    "Sure."
He pointed toward the harbor. "See that boat out there?"
    "A
sailboat?" I squinted at the sunlit water. "You can sail in the
winter?"
    "Sure.
Water's same temperature as it is in the summer. You'd just die faster if you
fell in now. We'll motor over, unless the wind's with us. It'll take a little
longer than Everett's boat, but I'll get you there. I was going over later
today anyway."
    "Jeez.
Well, thanks." I ran a hand through my dirty hair. "I didn't even
take a shower."
    "That
won't bother me. If you're staying with Aphrodite, I'm sure she'll let you take
a shower. But we should get going."
    He
stuck a ten dollar bill under his plate. "How should I pay you?" I
asked.
    "We'll
figure something out." As we headed to the door, he glanced at me.
"Those all the clothes you got?"
    "Pretty
much. You mean, am I dressed up enough to meet her?"
    "I
mean you're going to freeze your butt off if you don't put on something
warmer." He looked at my boots and shook his head. "You better be
careful with those—cowboy boots are terrible on deck. I think maybe I got some
stuff on the boat you could wear. Come on."
    I followed
him outside. I retrieved my things, locked the car, then headed after Toby.
    Two
steps and my gut clenched. Maybe getting onto a boat wasn't such a great idea,
after all. But Toby was already halfway down the beach, so I hurried after him.
    As
he'd warned, my boots were terrible in the damp. The pointed toes caught
between rocks and slid on lumps of greasy black seaweed. I walked gingerly to
where he bent over a wooden dinghy. A few yards off, waves swept the shingle
and left a trail of shining foam.
    Toby
glanced up. "That all you got?"
    I
nodded. "Will my car be okay if I leave it for a few days?"
    "Should
be fine till Memorial Day. Okay, come on down this way—"
    He
dragged the dinghy into the shallows, waved for me to clamber in. I did. A film
of brackish water covered my boots and immediately soaked through to my feet,
ice cold.
    "Better
get down," said Toby.
    I
sat as he got behind the dinghy and shoved it farther out. A moment later he
hopped in, settled in the bow, and took the oars.
    "This
won't take long," he said. A few strong strokes and we were free of the
shingle. A few more and I leaned over the side and vomited.
    "Seasick
already?"
    "Hangover."
    I
cupped icy seawater with one hand, rinsed my mouth then splashed more water on
my face.
    I
felt a little better. My headache receded. The frigid air and water seemed to
purge exhaustion from my blood. My eyes stung, but the pain felt clean and
sharp, almost welcome. I sank back onto my seat, making sure my satchel stayed
dry.
    "See
there?" Toby gestured at a small, blunt-nosed sailboat bobbing a short
distance from the end of the pier. "That's her. Northern Sky. Know
anything about boats?"
    I
blinked into the splintered blue-and-gold light. "No."
    "She's
what they call a gaff cutter. Twenty-six feet on the waterline. I bought her
twenty years ago for a dollar, from the ex-wife of a guy in jail down in the
Keys. You know the two happiest days of a man's life? The day he buys his boat
and the day he sells her."
    Out
here the dank reek of the harbor was gone. The air smelled of salt and wet
rock, with a faint undertone of diesel fumes. I shaded my eyes and looked for
other boats.
    "Are
you the only boat out here?"
    "The
only sailboat, this time of