Free Extra Time by Michelle Betham Page A

it now, Jim,’ Amber said quietly, allowing herself to fall against him as he took her in his arms. She loved it there, in his arms. She felt safe. She felt as though nothing could touch her when she was there. When he was holding her. She felt as if all the confusion she was suddenly feeling was something she could keep under control when, in reality, she didn’t think she could.
    He kissed the top of her head, rubbing her back gently. She picked her times to start conversations like this, he’d give her that. He was due to leave for the training ground soon, and this wasn’t really the kind of conversation he wanted hanging over his head all day. It wasn’t really the kind of conversation he wanted, full stop, if he was completely honest. Not right now. The timing was way off. ‘What’s brought this on, Amber? Huh?’
    She pulled away slightly, looking into his eyes, stroking his face with her fingertips. ‘I love you, so much, Jim. And I guess marrying you, finally being with you, the way I always wanted to be, I guess it’s suddenly made me want all those things I… all those things I thought I didn’t want. When all the time it was… it was just that I couldn’t have them with you. I didn’t want them if I couldn’t have you. And to have them with anyone else, it wouldn’t have felt right, none of it felt right. But it feels right now . Now I can’t stop thinking about all those things and… I can’t stop thinking about us , about how right that feels.’
    Jim took her hand in his and squeezed it gently, leaning forward to kiss her. She tasted so good, her lips so soft against his, her mouth opening in response to him as he kissed her harder, pulling her against him.
    He loved her like he’d never loved anyone before – to the point of obsession sometimes. But it was an obsession he could handle, because he knew how she felt about him. And for her to want this, for her to want a baby – his baby – it spoke volumes. And maybe he wanted that, too. Maybe he wanted that family, that security. Something to soften the blow when she found out the truth about him? About what he’d been hiding from her? From everyone? He didn’t want to think about that right now. Although the longer he kept putting it off, the worse the situation was going to become, he knew that. But she’d kind of put paid to any likelihood that he was going to tell her anything today. Now really wasn’t the time. ‘You want a baby? Really?’
    She smiled at him, resting her forehead against his. ‘I know this sounds crazy, Jim. I know it sounds as though it’s come completely out of the blue, but… I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. For weeks now it’s been on my mind and… and since coming off the Pill I…’
    He shut her up with another kiss, a slower kiss, a longer kiss, because he needed time to think about this. He didn’t want to lose her, not now, not ever, not after everything it had taken to win her back. But was this really what he wanted? What he needed? Was it really the right way to be going? Under the circumstances? Circumstances she was completely unaware of. But it couldn’t stay that way. It wasn’t going to stay that way, that was out of his hands now. And he didn’t have long before it was all going to come out, regardless of whether he’d found the time to tell her or not. And it really would be better off coming from him.
    ‘Look, Amber, honey, you’ve just got this brand new job and …  How’s it going to look if you suddenly need time off to…?’
    She cut him off mid-sentence with one of her trademark withering looks, and Jim couldn’t help but smile. That’s what he loved about Amber. His beautiful wife, the woman who could cut you down with a stare or shut you up with one smart remark. ‘You’re really going down the sexist route, Jim? Hmm? Is that where you’re going?’
    He was still smiling, he couldn’t help it as he backed away from her with his hands held up in