Free Dear Committee Members: A Novel by Julie Schumacher Page A

campus visit, make sure she or he is housebroken.

February 2, 2010—Groundhog Day Addistar Network, Inc.
    Bridget Maslow, HR
    [email protected] Dear Ms. Maslow:
    Though I prefer to send letters of recommendation via the U.S. Postal Service, now considered by many to be as quaint as muttonchop whiskers and the butter churn, I hereby accede to your request for an e-mail evaluation of Quentin Eshe, who has applied for the position of assistant communications coordinator at Addistar.
    Mr. Eshe graduated this past December, a double major in English and phys ed. I can’t comment on the phys ed portion of his undergraduate career (what do they study over there? dodgeball?) except to note that Mr. Eshe appears to be physically fit and as tightly coiled as a spring.
    As for his English studies: Mr. Eshe was my student in the American Literature Survey and in the Junior/Senior Creative Writing Workshop. He received a B– in the former (I believe he had appendicitis that semester) and an A– in the latter. His final project this past fall was a twenty-page autobiographical essay about his father who, one hopes, will not be permittedto read even a paragraph of the completed work. It is painful and problematic to conclude that another human being—a stranger—does not deserve to be forgiven or loved, but that is the conclusion I drew about Mr. Eshe’s father. (His mother is deceased.) Such was the acuity and unflinching vividness of the portrait of the senior Mr. Eshe that I believe I could identify his snarling face in a police lineup.
    Eshe is not jovial or loquacious and he won’t be the first in your office to set a tray of baked goods by the coffee machine. But by his own account he has survived a difficult if not harrowing childhood; and what skill matters more than the ability to prevail in the face of cruelty, adversity, neglect, and ill will? Furthermore, Mr. Eshe possesses powers of description that, in ways he does not yet recognize or understand, will be of great value to him and others throughout his life.
    Given time, Eshe will blossom, and you will be very grateful to have hired him. But do not ask about his family—he has moved on.
    Speaking the truth despite its drawbacks, I am Earnestly yours,
    Jason Fitger, Professor of Creative Writing and English Payne University
    P.S.: Belatedly it occurs to me that some members of your HR committee, a few skeptical souls, may be clutching a doublestrand of worry beads and wondering aloud about the practicality or usefulness of a degree in English rather than, let’s say, computers. Be reassured: the literature student has learned to inquire, to question, to interpret, to critique, to compare, to research, to argue, to sift, to analyze, to shape, to express. His intellect can be put to broad use. The computer major, by contrast, is a technician—a plumber clutching a single, albeit shining, box of tools.

February 6, 2010
    Portia Jameson, Manager Xanadu Park RV’s Timothy, MN 55359
    Dear Ms. Jameson,
    It has come to my attention that your RV park is in need of a (temporary) assistant manager, and I am writing to recommend to you a very mature and responsible individual, Darren Browles. Mr. Browles is soon to be widely known as a novelist, as he is currently putting the finishing touches on a book he has been writing for the past five years. I am sure it would reflect well on your RV park to have an employee—temporary or no—of this impressive stature.
    Mr. Browles does not currently own an RV so would require housing while in Xanadu’s employ. I do not believe he has any pets and, as per your ad, he is a nonsmoker. Having known him relatively well for the past two years, I can attest to his work ethic, his cleanliness, and his honesty.
    With best wishes and anticipating a prompt reply, I am Jason Fitger, Professor of Creative Writing and English Payne UniversityP.S.: Others may have pointed this out to you already but there is no need for an apostrophe in the