Free Whiskey Tango Foxtrot: An Addison Holmes Mystery (Addison Holmes Mysteries Book 5) by Liliana Hart Page B

double take. She’d unzipped her jogging suit and was hiding her .44 inside it like an old school gangster, her hand wrapped around the butt of the gun.
    “Put that away,” I hissed. “You’ve already been in one shootout today. This is a non-hostile mission. I just want to buy a car, for cripe’s sake.”
    “I’ve never seen a car lot like this one. What kind of cars do they sell here? Maybe I need a new car.”
    “Your license got revoked ten years ago,” I said. “You can’t buy a car.”
    “I can do whatever I want to. What if I just want to buy a car and look at it? Who’s going to stop me? The government. Those bastards don’t know what it means to serve their country. See how many of them could walk around with a musket ball in their hip. Bunch of sissies with manicures.”
    “A woman after my own heart,” someone said from the shadows. His voice was deep and smooth as whiskey. “That’s why Ugly Mo bypasses the government at all costs.”
    When he came out of the shadows it took everything I had not to flinch. Scarlet wasn’t so subtle.
    “Good Lord, you’re ugly ,” she said. “I’ve never seen somebody so ugly. Would you look at that, Addison? Are you ugly natural, or did you have some kind of accident?” she asked him. “That’s how superheroes are born, you know. Maybe you fell into a meat grinder or some radiation.”
    I grabbed Scarlet and pulled her close, clamping my hand over her mouth. About twenty years ago Scarlet had reached the age where she’d decided she could say whatever she wanted to and ignore all social niceties. She called it an old lady pass. I was pretty sure she was the only one who enjoyed that particular freedom.
    “I apologize for my Aunt Scarlet. She has an old lady pass, so she thinks she doesn’t have to be polite anymore.”
    Ugly Mo stared at us out of dead black eyes. He was blacker than coal and bald as a billiard, his face horribly disfigured. One of his eyes bugged out and never seemed to focus on anything. His face was scarred and part of his nose was missing. He wore a three-piece suit the color of limes and a bright red tie. And he walked with a cane, though I was willing to bet money it wasn’t just a cane.
    Scarlet bit the inside of my hand and I jerked it away, rubbing it on my leggings. Mo kept staring at Scarlet for several seconds, but she didn’t bat an eyelash. And then he dropped his head back and laughed. A big booming sound that echoed in the cavernous space.
    “I’ve always been ugly,” he said, wiping tears from his eyes. “House fire when I was seventeen didn’t help matters any. Never kept me from catching the pussy though. Know what I’m saying?”
    “I hear ya,” Scarlet said, nodding and putting away her gun. “It’s all in the technique. Young people these days don’t understand the mechanics.”
    Ugly Mo and Scarlet did a knuckle bump, and I was starting to wonder if I was in an episode of The Twilight Zone .
    “Whew, lady,” Mo said, looking Scarlet’s face over. “You been in a tussle. You need Mo to put a cap in somebody’s ass for mistreating a lady?”
    “Already taken care of,” Scarlet said. “Shot his ear right off.”
    “You’re one tough bitch. They don’t make bitches like you no more.”
    “Oh, go on with yourself,” Scarlet said, blushing like a schoolgirl.
    “You must be Addison Holmes,” Mo said, turning to me. “Jimmy Royal said you’re in need of my van,” Mo said. “It’s right back here. Just finished up the detailing on it yesterday.”
    I looked around at the junkyard of cars, not seeing anything that remotely resembled a van and said, “Umm.” I was going to kill Jimmy Royal.
    “I got just what you need.” Mo stamped his cane against the cement for emphasis. “You’ll be the most badass P.I. in Savannah. It’s a genuine Mercedes Benz motorhome, barely used. It’s got a fresh coat of paint and a couple upgrades on the interior. And due to the fact that I need room for