Free The Importance of Being Married by Gemma Townley Page A

it?”
    I frowned. “No, I look like…like…”
    “Like someone who people might actually be attracted to?” Helen asked, her eyes twinkling. “Someone who allows herself to have some fun from time to time?”
    I met her eyes and reddened slightly. I’d been going to say like a brain-dead floozie. “Look, I have to go,” I said instead, looking down at the floor quickly, wondering why it seemed such a long way away.
    “Okay,” Helen said. “Just remember, mouth shut when you smile, and no hiding behind your computer.”
    I raised an eyebrow, and she hit me on the shoulder. “Come on, Jess. You’ve got to put yourself out there. You’ve got to be open and friendly.”
    “Got it,” I said quickly, figuring resistance was futile.
    “Then prove it. Stop fidgeting and looking in the mirror like you’re staring at a freak show,” Helen said firmly.
    “I’m not fidgeting,” I said defensively.
    “Put your arms by your side and stand up straight. You are Jessica Wild, hot babe. Who are you?”
    I shrugged awkwardly. “I’m Jessica Wild,” I mumbled.
    Helen rolled her eyes. “You are Jessica Wild, a hot babe, who Anthony Milton is going to fancy madly,” she said crossly. “Say it.”
    “No. You’ve had your way with the hair, and I’m wearing the makeup. But I’m not saying that I’m a hot babe.”
    “Yes you are. If you don’t say it, you won’t believe it. So until you do, you’re not leaving,” Helen commanded.
    “But I don’t believe it.”
    “Look, Jess, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. You can say it and go, or…or we can stay here all morning until you do.”
    “You can’t make me,” I said flatly.
    “I’ve double-locked the front door and hidden your key.”
    My eyes widened. “You haven’t…”
    “Say it.”
    I stared at her pleadingly for a few seconds, but her face remained impassive. Eventually, I slumped. “I am Jessica Wild,” I mumbled. “Hot babe.”
    “ Who —? Come on, finish the sentence.”
    “Who Anthony Milton is going to fall madly in love with,” I muttered. “Except he won’t. Helen, this is stupid.”
    “No it isn’t. Come on, again. I’m Jessica Wild, hot babe, and I’m charming, impetuous, and gorgeous.”
    “I am Jessica Wild,” I sighed. “Hot babe. I’m charming, impetuous, and…”
    “And gorgeous.”
    “And gorgeous,” I repeated uncomfortably. I could imagine Grandma shaking her head at me.
    “Now say it like you mean it.”
    I looked at Helen irritably. I was going to be late to work at this rate. “But I don’t mean it.”
    “You better mean it. What time are you meant to be at work?”
    I looked at my watch. “I have to go now,” I said. “Right now.”
    “So say it again.”
    I narrowed my eyes, doing a quick calculation of being late to work versus the humiliation of doing what Helen was telling me to do. Then I shrugged. “Fine. I am Jessica Wild.” I tossed my hair. “I am a hot babe, and Anthony Milton is going to fall madly in love with me.”
    “Who are you?”
    “Jessica Wild.” Big toothy grin.
    “And now with the smile we practiced?”
    “Jessica Wild.” I pouted, for effect.
    “And what are you?”
    “A hot babe, who’s charming, impetuous, and charming.” I gave Helen a little wiggle of my hips just for good measure, just to make sure she let me out.
    “And who’s going to fall madly in love with you?”
    “Anthony Milton.”
    “Good,” Helen said, taking out her key. “And now you can go. No you can’t. You can’t take that handbag. Here, have one of mine.”
    I looked at her incredulously as Helen decanted the contents of my bag into one of her latest acquisitions.
    “Like the bag matters,” I said, rolling my eyes.
    “The bag? Of course it matters. Bags are your calling card,” Helen said, firmly. “Bags say everything that needs to be said. Well, bags and shoes.”
    “Great, I’ll remember that,” I said dismissively, grabbing the bag and waiting for Helen to