Free Redeem Me by Eliza Freed Page B

not going to have, for the thousandth time, the conversation about how he was doing just fine before I brought him home from church.
    “Well, you agreed Marie can come Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for a few weeks. At least until you’re feeling better.”
    “I know. Who the hell is paying her?” His anger is returning.
    “Let me worry about that for now.”
    Butch looks at me like he’s going to kill me.
    “I’m looking into using insurance to pay. I’ll keep you posted,” I say, and put the subject to rest for at least a few days. I finish unpacking the groceries and floret the watermelon. Marie would do it, but I’m not ready to leave Butch and we seem to do better with a task, rather than silence.
    “Are you feeling any better?” Butch just looks at me. “I mean since you started taking the medicine Dr. Grubb prescribed.”
    “I guess I am,” Butch says almost kindly, and I realize it’s a great time to leave.
    “Listen, do you think we can keep my visits just between us?”
    Butch is confused.
    “I’m not asking you to lie to anyone, I just…well, I just haven’t told people where I’m living now and I’m…I’m just not ready to talk to everyone yet.” My eyes roam around the room avoiding Butch. When I do look at him, he’s almost sympathetic.
    “Believe me, I’m not going around bragging about this.”
    “Okay,” I say, and exhale. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
    “See you,” Butch says as he swats his hand through the air.
    Maybe someday I’ll come see him without sighing when I leave. It’s a feeling of surviving or escaping something.
    I only lock the handle on the outside door since I’ve surrendered my keys to Marie. As I turn around, I hear a strangled chirp that is frantically repeated. I follow the sound to a bird huddled in the grass. It squawks and squawks its tortured little cry but never flies. The bird is plump with light blue feathers, and I consider for a moment she might be pregnant. I look the little bluebird right in the eye and it never flinches. I turn around to search for a nest and see a cat crouched in the bushes, ready to pounce. I look from the bird to the cat and walk to my car and leave.
    *  *  *
    The first day of fall is as sultry as July. Even though the sun’s lost some of its intensity, my skin’s hot and a bead of sweat slides down the side of my face as the truck pulls up to the side of the house and stops. A small blue feather catches my eye in the grass, and I push it aside. How long has it been since I’ve seen Noble? It feels like forever, and yet the time’s not exactly flying by. It’s been weeks.
    He’s at home, hopping out of his bright red pickup truck, wearing jeans and a T-shirt that outlines his well-worked body, muscles toned from working under the sun rather than in a gym. His sandy brown hair is a bit too long and falls out the sides of his hat. Even seeing only a few small pieces I can tell the sun’s brightened it. It’s as if I’m seeing him for the first time in years.
    So much has happened. So many horrible things. Actually, just one horrible thing, but I’m a different person than I was in August, one not worth knowing. I use the back of my hand to wipe my brow.
    “Well, if it isn’t the hardest person to find in Salem County,” he says as he clears the distance between us with long strides. Noble is tall, six-two. I know because I’ve heard him tell girl after potential girl at Rutgers over the past four years.
    “Have you been looking for me?”
    “Me and about a hundred other people. I even called Margo to get your new number, but she’s hardcore. Said she couldn’t share any information about you.” He crouches down beside me, and I become aware I’m covered in dirt and most definitely have some on my face. “And then I pull into my own driveway and find you here, planting flowers. I would have guessed New York City.” He flashes the most perfect smile. It moves from his lips straight up to his