Free You Against Me by Jenny Downham Page A

simply had to get through it until then.
    It was difficult to get to the doors when the bell went. A boy brushed her arm, whispered, ‘Your brother’s a paedo.’
    Another said, ‘How’s your brother?’ And when Ellie told him Tom was fine, he said, ‘Shame.’
    Three girls who would never acknowledge her any other day came up.
    ‘How’s Tom managing?’ they asked, all soft-voiced and concerned, as if he had many wives.
    ‘Um, he’s OK.’
    ‘Tell him we’re thinking of him. Tell him Lily, Alice and Caitlin send their love.’
    ‘OK, thanks. I’ll tell him.’
    A strained stillness enveloped the tutor room as she went in, and all eyes turned to her as she made her way to her place. Conor Lockhead, the class prat, came straight over and sat on the edge of her desk.
    ‘Hey,’ he said. ‘Is it true your brother raped a girl?’
    Ellie chose to ignore him and slunk into her seat.
    ‘Is he in prison?’ Conor said.
    ‘No.’
    ‘So, he didn’t do it?’
    ‘He didn’t do it.’
    ‘Is he back at college?’
    ‘He’s not allowed back yet.’
    Conor looked confused. ‘I thought you said he didn’t do it.’
    ‘He didn’t. Listen, I’m not supposed to talk about it.’
    She got out a pen and paper and kept her eyes firmly fixed on them. She began to doodle a tree with many sprouting heads, all teeth and snarl. She wished she had a friend, someone to sit next to, keeping her safe.
    Mr Donal came in, coughing, saw Ellie and smiled. ‘Welcome back.’
    And that’s all he said. He had a stack of sheets with him, handed them out swiftly, and soon they were all occupied with filling in questionnaires on their progress reports. Excellent plan. Total silence. No talking allowed. No moving, or standing, or going to the toilet, or walking past and shoving secret elbows into Ellie’s back. But it only lasted fifteen minutes, then the bell went for period one.
    First to approach her in Maths was Danny, six foot tall and the only boy she’d ever kissed. He’d asked her for the last dance at the Christmas party and they hadn’t spoken since. She blushed every time she saw him and today was no exception.
    He said, ‘Sorry to hear about your brother.’
    ‘Thanks.’
    ‘Has he got a court date?’
    She shook her head, knew it made her look sullen, but she couldn’t speak, could barely look at him. This hadn’t been her idea of the next conversation they’d have.
    ‘Well, best of luck with it all.’
    He walked away and it was like passing a baton, because before she’d even stopped blushing, a friend of Karyn’s strode up.
    ‘You’re the talk of the school,’ she said.
    ‘Me, or my brother?’
    ‘Well, since he’s not here, I guess I mean you.’
    Ellie stared down at her Maths book, prayed for the teacher to hurry up and tried to concentrate on saying very little.
    The girl leaned forward. ‘Karyn won’t see anyone, she’s locked herself in her flat and never goes out. You tell your brother that.’
    ‘I’m not allowed to talk about this.’
    The girl ignored her. ‘We text her, but she won’t see us. None of us. Not even Stacey.’
    ‘I’m sorry, but I have nothing to say.’
    ‘Do you feel guilty?’
    Heat crept from Ellie’s neck to her face. ‘Why would I?’
    ‘Well, if I was the only other person in a house when someone got raped, I’d feel pretty guilty.’
    It was a total relief when Ms Farish arrived and the lesson began. On her worksheet, Ellie wrote out formulae. In her head, she tried to remember, like a series of photos, the sequence of things – Karyn and Stacey and three boys turned up at the house with Tom. It was Saturday night and Mum and Dad were away. Ellie went upstairs. Later, she looked out of her window and saw Tom and Karyn with their arms round each other. Even later, she saw them kiss on the landing outside her bedroom door. She watched Tom’s hand creep down Karyn’s back. She watched Karyn lift one of her strappy heels from the floor and press herself