Free My Soul To Take by Madeline Sheehan Page B

and bottled enough snow to last a lifetime without dehydrating, I continuously cleaned, and I’d read all my pillaged books. Twice. Three times.
    Idle hands, my grandmother McKenna used to say, were the devil's playthings. The same could be said for the mind.
    With nothing to do, nowhere to go, no enemy to fight, I began to feel the emptiness of my existence. Before long, I was focusing solely on everything I had lost. I was completely and utterly alone.
    Would I be alone for the rest of my life?
    And if so, who was I without anyone around to know me?
    I knew who I had been. The cherished daughter of Angelos and Shannon Petros, the loving sister of Teodora and Tahyra, one semester away from graduating Long Island University with her bachelor’s degree in Humanities, and content and usually happy with her peaceful life.
    Then the world went to shit. I had watched humanity collapse around me, watched monsters brutally murder my baby sister, and presumed the rest of my family dead as well. I would never finish college; never have a meaningful career or a nice home. My life became a focal point of magic and violence. I had been terrified all of the time.
    And, oh yeah, surprise! I was somebody's soul mate.
    It was Xan who had picked me up – a lost, helpless little girl – and turned me into a self-sustaining woman. Now he, too, was gone.
    My worst fears had come true. Xan had moved on. I would never again see his dark eyes looking upon me, shining with love. Never again would my fingertips tingle as I ran my hands over his scarred, bronzed skin.
    The magic, I supposed, was his reason for no longer loving me. A stupid reason, if you ask me. A petty reason, something I had never thought to associate with Xan. He was many things, but petty had not been one of them.
    And what about Gerik? He had no reason to dislike me; this was his magic inside me, for gods’ sakes. If anything, I would have thought he would still be pursuing me.
    I still wasn’t sure what I felt for Gerik. It was true that we’d had an incredibly powerful connection, but the feelings hadn’t been mine, not really. It was the soul inside us trying to join, forcing its hosts together. Yet, even after Xan and I had broken the connection between Gerik and me…something remained. Would always remain, I suspected. So where in Hades was he?
    My misery was now complete. Not one single person wanted me. Not my husband. Not my friends. Not even my soul mate.
    Sadly, I gazed out the small window in my bedroom, watching the snow flurry outside. I shouldn’t have stopped here, I should have gone to a warmer climate to play house. I had a sneaking suspicion that cabin fever was only adding to my misery. By the time winter was over, I would definitely be watching blank television screens.
    Was that what I had to look forward to? I looked around my tiny cabin. There was nothing special here deeming this place my home. It was lacking the kind of warmth that only comes with time and long lasting relationships. There was nothing here but me and a few belongings I had stolen. It was sad. And empty. Just like I was.
    Sitting up in bed, I lifted my hand and stared at my wedding ring. The white specks on the black background began to move, melding and mixing until the stone was pure gray. The ring had once belonged to Xan’s grandmother, a powerful healer. It was anyone’s guess what was up with the ring. I couldn’t sense any of the elements inside of it. Was it magically infused? Spelled? I couldn’t even begin to guess.
    I took a deep breath and for the first time since Xan had placed the ring on my finger, I took it off. It came off easily; I had lost quite a bit of weight in the past few months. I could almost hear my mother scolding me for being “too skinny”.
    Gods, I would give anything to be scolded again. I would give anything to be just “some girl”, in some unimportant place, going unnoticed.
    I rubbed the small circle of skin around my finger that,