Free Two Dollar Bill by Stuart Woods Page B

belly.
    Hello? he half whispered.
    Hey, Stone. The line was staticky and faint.
    Stone felt a wave of irritation. Billy Bob.
    You left me a message to call.
    Not at... he looked at the bedside clock ... three-thirty in the morning.
    Sorry about that. It ain't three-thirty here.
    Where are you?
    Maui.
    Hawaii?
    Got a little deal going out here. What did you want to talk to me about?
    Stone checked the caller ID window on the phone. Unavailable. It's hard to remember in the middle of the night.
    Well, I might not be able to get back to you for a few days. We're headed out for a little cruise on a big ol' yacht in the morning.
    Oh, yes, I remember. I've resigned from representing you as your attorney. I sent you a letter and a refund of your retainer to your Dallas address.
    Well, shoot, Stone. What'd you want to go and do that for? Ain't my money no good?
    I don't represent clients who conceal their identities from me, or who employ more than one identity.
    A silence.
    Or who murder women in my guest room.
    It wasn't murder, exactly, Billy Bob said, and he managed to sound sheepish.
    Exactly what was it?
    She wanted me to choke her a little; said she got off better that way. I told her to tap me on the hand if she wanted me to stop, but she didn't. I don't know why.
    You're a big, strong guy, Billy Bob, Stone said. Strong hands, I expect. By the way, the electric blanket was a clever idea. It threw the medical examiner for a loop, until he figured it out.
    I needed to buy me some time, Billy Bob said. Are the cops looking for me?
    Stone wasn't going to become an accomplice to flight. I can't comment on that.
    I'm looking for advice, here, Stone; that's what I'm paying you for.
    No, you're not. I've sent you a cashier's check for the full fifty thousand, so you haven't paid me a penny.
    So that's the way it is, then?
    That's the way it is. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't contact me again.
    Oh, you'll be hearing from me, Stone.
    And Billy Bob? The next time you print up some cards for Warren Buffett, try and remember that he spells his name with two t's.
    Silence, then Billy Bob hung up.
    Stone tried to get back to sleep, but he spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling.
    STONE FELL ASLEEP about a minute before Tiff woke him, moving her hand down his belly. He groaned. I got a phone call in the middle of the night and never got back to sleep. Forgive me if I'm not too responsive this morning.
    So Billy Bob is in Hawaii?
    I thought you were asleep. You're a sneaky person.
    Where in Hawaii?
    Let me think about this for a moment. He thought about it. He told me where he was while he still thought I was his attorney, so I can't tell you.
    God, but you're a pain in the ass.
    I cherish my license to practice law, Stone replied.
    She grabbed his balls. I'll bet I could torture it out of you.
    We're not at Guantanamo, missy, he said. Oh, Billy Bob did confess to murder, and that was after I told him I wasn't his lawyer anymore.
    Murder?
    You haven't heard? He told her about Tiffany's death. Actually, he didn't confess to murder; he said it was an accident.
    Murder isn't a federal crime, unless the victim is a federal official.
    If it helps, I have no way of knowing if Billy Bob was actually in Hawaii; he just said he was. The time zone works, though; it's what, six hours earlier there?
    Seven, I think.
    So it would have been midevening in Maui oops, forget I said that.
    You're sweet, she said, tickling his balls. And you're becoming more responsive, too.
    She was right.
    STONE WAS SITTING in his office at midafternoon, trying to stay awake, when Dino called.
    Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner; it's been busy here. What's up?
    Billy Bob called in the middle of the night; said he was in Maui.
    You believe him?
    Who knows what to believe? He could be anywhere. Oh, he said he was going on a cruise on a yacht for a few days.
    Where do you cruise to in Hawaii?
    Hawaii, I think. Anything else is a long way away.
    I could ask the