Free The Hunting Trip by III William E. Butterworth Page B

Caliber .45 M1A1 Thompson submachine guns. They are used to shoot people. I’m surprised you didn’t know that.”
    â€œI meant, what are they used for here?”
    â€œThat will also be covered during your ROTPIP, but to satisfy your frankly unwelcome premature curiosity, I will tell you that certain highly trained members of the Thirty-third are sometimes called upon to carry such weapons during the exchange of spies—the EXPLETIVE DELETED!! Russians return to us the innocent Americans the EXPLETIVE DELETED!! East Germans have arrested on absolutely unfounded accusations that they are spies and we return to them the EXPLETIVE DELETED!! Russian spies we have bagged.
    â€œIn this connection, not for dissemination, of course, most of the EXPLETIVE DELETED!! Russian spies we have bagged have been bagged by our own—the Thirty-third’s own—Supervisory Special Agent Jonathan Caldwell the Third, who is, again not for dissemination, one EXPLETIVE DELETED!! , not only
vis-à-vis
the EXPLETIVE DELETED!! Russians but also with regard to his fellows in the Thirty-third who do not measure up to his high standards.
    â€œBut I digress. The exchange of spies takes place in the center of the Glienicke Bridge, which spans the Havel River, which is the border between the West—specifically the Wannsee district of Berlin—and the East—specifically the city of Potsdam, which is the capital of Brandenburg. Six or more men of the Thirty-third go to the bridge armed with, and carrying spare fifty-round magazines for, the Thompsons on my wall to ensure that the EXPLETIVE DELETED!! Russians don’t do anything they are not supposed to during the exchange procedure.
    â€œBut I wouldn’t bother your innocent seventeen-year-old head with this, Administrator Williams, as it will be a long, long time before you are allowed anywhere near Supervisory Special Agent Caldwell, who handles the spy exchange, the Glienicke Bridge, or a Caliber .45 M1A1 Thompson submachine gun.
    â€œPerhaps especially the latter. I myself, as difficult as it may be for you to believe, had a great deal of difficulty qualifying with the Thompson. Despite the apparent ease with which the gangsters and heroes wield the weapon in the movies, in real life the Thompson is a EXPLETIVE DELETED!! . It kicks like a EXPLETIVE DELETED!! mule, for one thing, and, unless one tightly buttons one’s shirt, has a nasty habit ofejecting hot brass cartridge casings into open necks, whereupon they burn one’s chest and tummy as they drop to one’s testicles. I speak from painful experience when I say that having one’s jockey shorts filled with a dozen or so just-ejected .45 cartridge cases causes unbelievable EXPLETIVE DELETED!! discomfort.”
    Phil took a deep breath and decided that honesty required him to go on.
    â€œFirst Sergeant, what would you say if I told you I’m an Expert Marksman with the Caliber .45 M1A1 Thompson submachine gun?”
    Dumbrowski considered his reply before giving it.
    â€œI would say,” he said finally, “that you have been smoking funny cigarettes, because even as dumb as you look, I don’t think you’d be dumb enough, unless flying high on the fumes of a controlled substance, to try to lay such incredible EXPLETIVE DELETED!! on your first sergeant.”
    â€œIt’s in my service record, First Sergeant.”
    First Sergeant Dumbrowski checked Phil’s service record. After doing so, he said, “First of all, Administrator Williams, please accept my apologies for my having questioned your claim of marksmanship excellence, and in suggesting you were a grass head.
    â€œSecond, please accept this advice in the spirit in which it is offered. Keep this remarkable talent of yours to yourself. It may turn out to be a very useful arrow in your quiver of self-defense arrows in the future. And you may well need a full quiver of such arrows. I could