Free I Was Jane Austen's Best Friend by Cora Harrison Page B

not here to do it — it’s just for your own good. You know it is important for you, as well as for Jane and Cassandra, to get a good offer of marriage.’
    And then she was gone, whirling from the room, and we could hear her shouting to the kitchen maid about cleaning out the fire in the breakfast parlour.

    ‘Anyway, she’s going to get a bit of a shock about Cassandra,’ said Jane, her lips curling in amusement. ‘Guess what, Miss Goody-Two-Shoes Cassandra has a little looking glass in her cabinet that I’ve seen her kissing.What’s the betting that Tom Fowle gave it to her?’
    I dried my eyes and laughed. ‘And I kissed the donkey earlier. Don’t tell your mother that!’
    Tonight Jane told me about George.
    I had been waiting since yesterday for her to tell me, but I didn’t want to push her.
    And this was the way our conversation went. It was like a play. It was beginning to get dark, but I didn’t light my candle. Jane sat on the window seat — one of those windows that I drew yesterday. As she spoke she played with the catch and sometimes opened and closed the window softly, like someone idly swinging a door. I sat on the bed and watched her face. I could see her because there was still some light, but she couldn’t see my face because I was in the shadows.
    ‘You see,’ said Jane, ‘George was born like that. He was born with something wrong with him.’
    I watched the way her mouth tightened and her eyes filled with tears.
    ‘Go on, say something,’ she said fiercely.
    I couldn’t think what to say, and in the end I just asked her why it was such a secret.
    ‘Because my mother is ashamed of him, that’s why.’ Jane’s voice hissed like it does when she is reading out a story about a villain. And then when I said nothing she said impatiently, ‘Well, go on, ask me why my mother is ashamed of George.’
    I could guess why, but I asked the question all the same.
    ‘Because she cares about money more than anything else! She wants all the boys to be rich and famous and she wants Cassandra and me to marry men with big estates. At least she has hopes for Cassandra — she’s pretty and accomplished. If only she can keep her from marrying Tom Fowle, Cassandra might make a splendid match. I don’t think she has much hope for me. If I can’t even draw a cow, she can hardly say that I am accomplished, can she? And I’m not very pretty either, am I? My cheeks are too red and my mouth is too small.’
    I told Jane I thought she was very pretty and that she has a much better nose than I have, but she wasn’t listening to me. Her cheeks were bright red now, and her eyes were glittering. I felt like crying. I didn’t know what to do.
    ‘How old is George?’ I asked. ‘Is he younger than you?’
    Jane shook her head. ‘No, he’s older than Henry and older than Edward — wonderful Edward who managed to get a rich cousin to adopt him. That’s one of us off our mother’s hands.’ She was nearly spitting out the words. ‘Now she doesn’t have to bother about Edward and she can boast about him. That makes her forget that one of her children is deformed and can’t speak or read or write. She tells everyone that she has five boys and two girls. I think that she evenmanages to convince herself of that sometimes.’
    ‘Is that why you pretended she was your stepmother?’ I felt very sorry for Jane. Sometimes I feel as if she is older than me, but now she seemed like a little sister who was upset because she was hurt. I went across, sat beside her on the window seat, put my arms around her and gave her a hug.
    ‘I wish she were my stepmother.’ Jane’s voice was choked, as if she wanted to cry but was not allowing herself. She pulled away from me and stood with her back turned. Her voice was hoarse and choked when she said, ‘If she were my stepmother, it wouldn’t matter that I hate her.’
    ‘But George is definitely your brother, your real brother?’ I tried to sound sort of casual, but