Free Sweet Spot: Homeruns #4 by Sloan Johnson Page A

relationship with his father, it didn’t show. He was a force to be reckoned with. “I’ll think about it.”
    “I hope you do.” He still sounded worried about me. “Now, I know there’s something else bothering you. Would you like to talk about it?”
    I blinked rapidly as I tried to figure out what he was talking about. I thought back to the past winter, trying to figure out if I’d seemed upset about anything. While I knew what bothered me almost daily, I didn’t think I’d let on to my family how miserable I’d been.
    “Other than when you were coaching or training last winter, the only time you left the house without a guilt trip was when Corey got married,” Dad offered when I couldn’t come up with what he might be alluding to. “And after you came home from the wedding, you seemed even more miserable than you had been.”
    “Gee, way to make me sound pathetic,” I scoffed. “You know I don’t do well when I’m not on a set schedule.”
    “That’s not it,” he challenged me. “Look, I have a pretty good idea what you’re trying to hide away from all of us, but it’s not my place to be the one to put it out there.”
    “Well, you’re going to have to give me a clue, because right now I have no idea what you’re waiting for me to say,” I argued.
    Dad stacked his flatware and napkin on his plate and pushed it to the edge of the table. He folded his hands on top of the table and leaned in, closing his eyes as he tried to figure out a way to say whatever had him so concerned. When he opened his eyes, they shone with an emotion I couldn’t put my finger on. He pursed his lips and cocked his head to the side, still remaining completely silent.
    “Nick, I know we didn’t have the type of relationship you wanted when you were younger, and that’s my fault,” he apologized. “When I tell you I know what you’re feeling right now, it’s because I do. I still remember vividly what it’s like to be a young player who’s trying to do everything he can to make it to the big show. There were times I let my priorities get out of whack and even once when I almost lost everything. I was so focused on trying to make it that I lost sight of everything that’d matter after the last time I stepped onto the field. At the time, retirement was still some abstract concept years down the road, and I took my personal life for granted.”
    Wow, now that he’d started talking, he didn’t seem like he was going to quit anytime soon. I looked at him and tried to remember any of the events he was telling me about. The years he spent struggling through the minors while Mom and I were at home. I was only six when he made it to the majors, so it’d been easy for me to forget that he’d been in my shoes once upon a time.
    “I think as you watch your teammates and friends falling in love and getting married, it’s bothering you because you’re still alone,” he told me, causing me to choke on a piece of steak. I waved him off when he got up to thump me on the back the way he did when I was a kid. “Sorry, I guess that was a bit abrupt. But after your mother brought it up, it made sense. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re not like a lot of the guys, going out and screwing just for the sake of release, but it’s got to get lonely not having anyone who cares.”
    “I have plenty of people in my life,” I countered. It was a fucking lie. I had my family, but that was it. I’d held everyone else at a distance. “Sometimes, I think I’m the lucky one because I don’t have to worry about anyone waiting for me at home and whether or not this will be the year they decide enough is enough and leave.”
    “I know you have people who could be considered friends. That’s not what I’m implying,” Dad clarified. “And while you’ve done a good job spinning this in your mind, I think you’re bullshitting both of us right now. If you were really happy, I wouldn’t say anything, but you’re not. And