Free This Is All by Aidan Chambers Page A

the Far East people eat the young shoots, but you have to be careful because it’s carcinogenic if you have too much.’
    ‘I’ll be careful.’
    ‘It can even be used as a contraceptive, but I don’t know how.’
    ‘A pity, we might have used it now.’
    That put a silence on him. Verbal contraceptive: prevents birth of speech.
    ‘Only joking,’ I lied.
    No reply.
    ‘Will?’
    ‘Yes?’
    ‘What are you talking about?’
    ‘Bracken.’
    Silence again.
    I said, ‘Is that what you wanted to tell me?’
    ‘No, just thought you might be interested.’
    ‘Well, I am. Yes, I can quite see it sounds a very useful plant. Never knew.’
    ‘Most people don’t.’
    I could tell he was pretending not to notice I was joshing him.
    ‘But,’ I said seriously, ‘it’s not what you wanted to tell me?’
    ‘Not exactly. Not about bracken. No.’
    ‘Well, it’s your turn. To tell me what you really wanted to tell me. I mean, if you still want to.’
    Another silence. You did have to be patient with Will. All I wanted to do was rip his pants off.
    The dampness began to seep through my jeans.
    Finally, at last , he turned on his side, facing me, propped his head on his hand, and I knew it would be best if I didn’t move or look at him. I was sure he was easy to spook when being so serious, which he was, I just knew, very serious. And I wasn’t at all expecting what came out.
    ‘I love trees.’
    I mean, what are you supposed to say when a boy says such a thing? What I heard myself say was: ‘You love trees ?’ With too much emphasis on trees , which made it sound like I was sneering, which I wasn’t. I was just surprised.
    ‘You can laugh if you like,’ he said.
    I said, ‘No no. Is that what girls usually do when you tell them?’
    He said, ‘I haven’t told any girls.’
    ‘Well,’ I said, ‘boys then?’
    He said, ‘I haven’t told any boys either.’
    So I said, ‘Anyone?’
    He said, ‘No one.’
    ‘No one? Not anyone at all? ’
    ‘Not no one no when.’
    I took a deep breath before saying, ‘But you’re telling me.’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘And I’m the first person you’ve ever ever ever told in the whole wide world that you love trees?’
    ‘Correct.’
    Now it was me who had a spell of silence while I took this in. Then turned on my side, my head propped on my hand just like him, and for the same reason – because I needed to look into his eyes to be sure of his reaction when I said, ‘You’re telling me and you expected me to laugh?’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘At you?’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘For liking trees?’
    ‘ Loving trees.’
    ‘For loving trees.’
    ‘For loving trees.’
    ‘Why?’
    ‘Just thought you would. But hoped you wouldn’t.’
    ‘And I didn’t.’
    ‘But most people would, wouldn’t they?’
    I waited to see if he would tell me what he really wanted to tell me without being asked. But no. I was beginning to understand that, when it came to his emotions, Will was the question-and-answer kind of person. He couldn’t tell you anything, not anything important, unless you asked the right questions. The exactly right questions.
    I looked him in the eyes and asked, ‘Why me?’
    ‘You know how you wanted to tell me about choosing me? Well, the fact is, I fancy you. Have for ages. Well, I mean, not just fancy you, which I do, but more than that.’
    ‘What does more than that mean?’
    ‘Not sure. No, that’s wrong. I am sure. But I mean I’m not sure I want to go into it here. It wasn’t what I was going to tell you. I was only going to tell you about the trees. To see how you reacted. I only told you about … the other matter … because of what you told me.’
    ‘You know what I think, William Blacklin? I think you’re a deep dyed bolloxing, what-you-call-it? Is pedant the right word?’
    ‘I do like things to be right, that’s true. If that’s what you mean.’
    ‘So you more than fancy me, which you were not going to tell me, and you brought me here to tell me you