his back still to me, as he steadily chopped something on the cutting board. His shoulders seemed more tense than usual and the knife seemed to be slamming down with way more force than necessary to chop an onion. Not able to see his face, I couldn't tell if he was affected at all by the kiss that had pretty much just thrown my whole world off its axis.
I'd kissed plenty in my life.
I'd had sweet, gentle kisses and hard, demanding ones.
But never, as in ever, had I ever felt like someone had owned me with a kiss. But that was how I felt when Repo's lips were on mine; I felt owned. For the duration of it, there was nothing but him. The entire compound could have come in and started cheering and I wouldn't have noticed. He kissed like he was going off to war, like a dying man, like he was sure it would be his last and he wanted to make sure it was a good one.
"You alright, Ace?" Duke asked, walking in, his shirt sticking to him with sweat so I assumed he was coming in from his shift.
"What?" I asked, shaking my head a little.
"You alright?" he asked, snagging a mug off the counter and coming to sit across from me, grabbing the orange juice container and pouring himself some. "You're all spaced out."
"Oh, um," I said, chancing a look at Repo whose chopping had stopped. It had stopped because he had turned to look at me, brow raised, waiting to hear the next lie out of my mouth. "Yeah. I'm just all stuffy," I said, waving a hand dismissively.
"Yeah," Repo said, his lips twitching, "that must be it." With that, he went back to doing whatever the heck he was doing that required so much cutting.
"You back on tonight?" Duke asked, sitting back in his chair the way only men did: legs wide, upper back against the chair, the rest detached, chest puffed out slightly.
"Ah I don't see why..."
"No," Repo cut me off.
Both Duke and I looked over, but Repo wasn't facing us. "I'm better now," I pressed.
"For what? An hour? Don't get cocky, probie. We need men on guard who can stay conscious for their shift. Until we're sure that's you, you're grounded."
I straightened, opening my mouth to object when Duke's raised hand caught my eye. When I looked over, he shook his head at me. I didn't need all that man-training K put me through to know he was warning me to shut the fuck up before I said something to get myself kicked out. Knowing he was right and there was nothing I could do, I stood up fast enough for my chair to turn over, drawing Repo's attention. But he said nothing and I stormed out of the kitchen. I ignored the presence of Wolf and Vin in the great room and threw myself outside, tearing across the field until the fence stopped me. I turned to the tree, taking a deep breath and jumping up to grab the lowest branch, pulling myself up.
It was a weird habit I picked up after my grandmother took me in as a kid. Growing up in the city, there generally weren't many trees around, let alone ones strong enough to climb. But when my mom was in a mood and I couldn't take it anymore, I climbed out the window and took up the fire escape until I hit the roof of whatever apartment building we were living in at the time. At my grandmother's in Vermont, there weren't fire escapes. But there was still an adult on my case about something every once in a while and my desire to run away from it. Given that we lived in a little Victorian in the woods, there were plenty of old, sturdy trees around. So when my grandmother started in on me, I would go out in the yard and climb a tree, often not coming in until it was dark and my growling stomach made me finally come down and find food.
Maybe it was immature.
But, the fact of the matter was, I had no privacy anywhere else at the compound. Someone always seemed to be in their bunks. Or in Renny's case, his recliner. The great room was always packed. And we weren't supposed to leave without permission. I knew I'd never get that. So the only thing I could do was get up and above it all for a little