Free First and Last by Rachael Duncan Page B

another thank you that it is. Pulling it out, I try again to call in to someone. I’m hoping with my new location I might get a better signal.
    “Anyone copy? This is Blake Collins, Redmond smokejumper. I need help. Can anyone hear this?” My voice gives out as I start coughing.
    There’s no static this time, only deafening silence. Holding my radio to my chest, I glance back up at the sky and hope they’ve sent a search party out for me.
    Every so often I check my chest to make sure my emergency beacon is still flashing. As long as I’m transmitting, there’s hope they’ll get my ass out of here.
    I should have listened to Mia all those years ago. She never wanted me to become a firefighter, especially not one that jumps out of planes. Now look at me. Stranded on the side of this stupid-ass mountain where I’ll burn up if someone doesn’t come get me. My selfishness to chase after my goals and dreams brings back a vivid conversation where I realized Mia wasn’t only my first love, but my first heartache too.

April 2002
    “H ey, Mia,” her dad calls up and I jump off of her at lightning speed. My heart is beating frantically, and I don’t know if it’s from the effect Mia always has on me, or from almost getting caught making out on her bed by her dad. I’m sure he’d cut off my balls if he saw us.
    “Yeah?” she responds, humor in her voice. I glare at her when I realize she’s not nearly as freaked out as I was.
    “You’ve got some mail.”
    She hops up off the bed and runs downstairs before I can get out of her room. By the time I make it, I can hear her tearing open an envelope.
    “I got in!” she exclaims. “Look, Dad!”
    “Congrats, sweetie. I’m so proud of you.” He wraps her in a hug, but it’s her huge smile that catches my attention. When he puts her down, she turns her attention to me.
    “I got into Ohio State!” She’s beaming and I am too despite my internal sadness. I feel like I just watched someone kick my puppy. That’s a lot farther away than I was hoping she’d end up going.
    “That’s great!” I do my best to mask how I’m really feeling and try to be happy for her. I rationalize with myself that even though that’s about six hours away, we could still make this work. Hugging her tight, I place a kiss on her cheek and look into her glowing face. God, it’s going to kill me not to see her every day.
    “Have you gotten in anywhere yet?” she asks, excitement lacing her voice.
    I rub the back of my neck and look at the ground. Right now isn’t the ideal time to tell her, but I can’t lie to her anymore. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.” Her head tilts to the side as her eyebrows pull in, but before she can say anything, I grab her hand and lead her outside.
    The spring air is muggy for this time of year. It’s stifling and constricting, which is kind of how I feel right now. My insides are coiled up tight with anxiety and dread over what the future holds for us. I know we’re young and have a lot of growing up to do, but when you meet your soulmate, age is just a number. The idea of us not working because of the distance or what I’m about to tell her creates a sick feeling in my stomach. “Is everything okay?” she asks, breaking me from my thoughts.
    “Uh, yeah.” With a deep breath, I spit it out. “I haven’t been honest with you.”
    Her hand reaches out to touch my arm. “Blake, if you didn’t get in anywhere, that’s okay. You can always apply again.”
    I shake my head. “That’s not it. You know I have the grades to go anywhere I want.”
    “Then what’s wrong?”
    “I didn’t apply to any schools because I’m not going to college.”
    She blinks a few times before she responds. “What do you mean? What are you going to do then?”
    With a confident stare, I say, “I’m going to join the fire department.”
    Her hand falls off my arm instantly as if I’ve burned her. “What?” she asks incredulously.
    “This