Free Party of One by Dave Holmes Page A

would be the last to criticize it. However, speaking as a homosexual man, I feel that something needs to be done about this.
    As I stated, I am a homosexual. And despite what some of you might think, I’m not alone here. Statistically speaking, ten to fifteen percent of the United States population is gay. That means there are anywhere between 260–390 gays and lesbians on this campus. We’re everywhere, and we don’t fit the stereotype. Speaking of myself, I don’t lisp, can’t decorate a room to save my life, and have never, ever vogued.
    I have even been on a sports team and dated women. Like most of the gays and lesbians on campus, I’m your typical Holy Cross student. Look around you next time you go to Stoney’s or Joe De’s. Chances are at least one of the people you came in with is gay. We’re your friends, your roommates, your teammates. And, be assured, we’re not going to hurt you. Nothing could be further from my mind than being anything other than friends with the men I hang around with, and I know that the rest of us on campus feel the same way. Please don’t feel threatened.
    The reason why this is all so important to me right now is that I’m currently in the process of “coming out of the closet” and I have a few words of advice for anyone who’s reading this. First for all you straight people out there: as I said before, you have a gay friend. And chances are you don’t know it yet. The reason why you don’t is because your friend is scared to death to tell you. You may be the most understanding person in the world, but the fact is that we live in a homophobic society. Gays are discriminated against on a regular basis, and are almost always referred to as something less than respectable.
    It’s downright terrifying for someone to tell his/her friends that he/she is part of this socially unacceptable part of the populace.
    However, I do have faith in the students here. I think we’re all enlightened enough to overcome our preconceived ideas and accept things which are foreign to us. And if any of you out there aren’t, then you have the problem. You can change your mind, we can’t change our sexuality. Homosexuality isn’t a sin, a crime, a disease or even (in the broader scheme of things) a problem. Homophobia is. But it’s easily overcome. You owe it to your friends and to yourself to take the steps toward broadening your mind. And should your gay friend ever “come out” to you, please remember a few things. First: he/she is the same person he/she was before you knew about it. He/she is not suddenly your enemy. Second, it takes a lot of courage for someone to “come out,” even more when one is “coming out” to a close friend, since they risk losing that friendship which they treasure. Recognize that. You may be completely repulsed by the idea of homosexuality, but that doesn’t mean you need to be repulsed by your friend.
    For those of you out there who are gay, I ask only this: don’t be afraid to tell your friends. I know what it’s like in the closet, since for all intents and purposes I’m still there. It’s no fun. Yes, it’s difficult to tell people, but it’s worth it. You owe it to your friends and ultimately to yourself to be honest. I’m still not ready to let the world know, but after having told a few of my close friends here, I can honestly say I don’t regret it. I remember vividly the first time I told someone here. I hemmed and hawed and talked circles around it for hours, then finally just came right out and said that I’m gay. I was scared to death to look my friend in the eye, I was prepared for him to get up and leave. But he didn’t. He nodded and said “Okay,” and smiled, and that was that. We talked about it, we even laughed about it, and at the end of the night, he thanked me for being honest with him. I can definitely say it was the best feeling I’d ever had. And the next day, we could still talk about it. We still do. No, he’s not