Free Off the Menu by Stacey Ballis Page B

break for intensive work. The Cooking and Hospitality Institute of Chicago, Washburne, and Kendall colleges have all agreed to save two places in their fall class for students, so we can give six scholarships.”
    “Maria, that is fantastic. Do you want me to ask Le Cordon Bleu if they would save two places there as well?”
    “That would be wonderrrrful. That way we know that we can offer scholarships to all participants, if they qualify. And I want you to be on the advisorrrry committee.”
    I think about this for a moment. “How much of a commitment is that, time-wise?”
    “Does it matter? This is rrrrright up your alley. It won’t be too much.” This is not a question or a request. This is a mandate. And Maria has asked very little of me over the years, so there is no way I would ever deny her.
    “Of course I’m in. I’d be delighted.”
    “Good. I will send you the inforrrrmation for the meeting next week. Now. Enough business. ’Ow is your love life? Still with the Brrrruce?”
    I love that Maria calls him the Bruce. Like Robert the Bruce. “Yes, I am still with Bruce, such as it is. He is coming in next week for a couple of days while we are shooting.”
    “And anyone that is
not
the Brrrruce?”
    I hesitate. She and Bennie are close, but I know Bennie doesn’t share confidences. Then again, I didn’t say that my correspondence with RJ was a secret. I have to err on the side of honesty, because if Bennie did mention something and I hide it, Maria will be hurt.
    “I have someone else that I am e-mailing with, but it is very new and we haven’t even spoken on the phone yet, so I am not really thinking anything much there yet.”
    “But you like him?”
    I think about this. “I like the very little I know about him so far, and the way he expresses himself. We seem on the surface to have a reasonable amount in common. But until it is more than just a few words exchanged on the computer, I can’t really say if I like
him
or not.”
    “Good. You like him.” Another mandate.
    “I suppose I am hopeful in the liking him direction.”
    “Excellent,
mi amorrrr
, excellent. You know I never really like this thing with the Brrrruce. Sex is fine, but you need boyfrrrrriend. And good sex makes you lazy.”
    “I know you think that. Bennie says the same thing. I prefer to think that good sex makes me smart and clearheaded to make decisions about who I date and why. If I am being taken care of in that way, I never will rush a new relationship or try to make someone the right someone justbecause I want sex. I can take the time to get to know someone, and trust them, and then decide if they are the right person for me to be with.” It is my standard response for the handful of people who know about my current arrangement. I try to ignore that it sounds a little bit like a justification.
    “Hmm.” Maria looks at me pointedly. “And exactly ’ow many men have you taken the time to get to know while you sleep with the Brrrruce?”
    Gulp. “Um, none really, but …”
    Maria puts up her hand, one finger pointing in the air. “No ‘but.’ You ’ave no buts to give. You arrrrre busy with work, spend all your time with friends and family at people’s ’ouses, you arrrrre cooking for Patrick at all hourrrrrs of the night, and you have sex with the Brrrruce. No dating. No new men. No going out to meet people or have blind dates. I am glad you meet this man online. Do not let the Brrrruce distrrrract you.”
    I laugh. She is right, of course, as always. “I promise, I won’t let Bruce distract me.”
    “Or Patrick.”
    “Patrick is not a distraction.”
    “He crosses lines.” Maria is as leery of Patrick as my dad, but for different reasons.
    “He is fine. He is the same as he ever was.”
    “Ay, this is what I am afrrrraid of!” Maria spears a grape tomato and piece of feta with purpose, and pops them in her mouth, wagging her fork at me.
    I suppose I should probably mention that I did actually once