Free All This Could End by Steph Bowe Page A

the light emitted by trillions of stars. Proof that what you see isn’t always what you get.’
    ‘I feel strangely reassured by that,’ says Spencer. ‘The idea of light all around us makes me feel safer.’
    ‘Me too,’ agrees Nina.
    ‘The idea of things out there that I can’t see doesn’t make me feel as good,’ says Spencer.
    ‘Why do you think they’re bad things?’ asks Nina. ‘It’s just as likely that they’re good. The unknown shouldn’t be something you’re afraid of, you should embrace it.’
    Spencer laughs. ‘You sound like Bridie. And that’s a lot easier said than done.’
    ‘Yeah, you’re right. She’s a hard act to follow.’
    ‘How do your parents feel about you going out with people you don’t know?’
    Nina shrugs. ‘They trust me. I think they sometimes wish I went out more. It’s difficult, because we move around a bit. Making new friends every few months.’
    ‘Where did you live before here?’ Spencer asks.
    Nina is quiet for a while and he worries that he’s asked the wrong thing. What if the last place she lived was really embarrassing, like a secret cult in the middle of the desert that you’re never supposed to leave?
    ‘The city,’ she says finally. ‘I prefer it here. I like going swimming every day. What about you? Have you always lived here?’
    Spencer nods. ‘I’ve lived in the same house my whole life. Everyone else wants to get away and never look back. I’m a bit boring, I guess. I just want everything to stay the same. Not because it’s perfect or anything, but leaving everything I know sounds scary, not exciting.’
    ‘Why are you friends with Bridie?’ asks Nina. ‘I don’t mean to be offensive—I probably shouldn’t say things that require that disclaimer—but you just seem so different.’
    ‘It’s easy.’ Spencer shrugs. ‘She lives near me, we’re the same age, she needs a wingman. And she’s good to be around, before she bails. She’s loud and obnoxious, obviously, but she’s also fearless and good fun. I know it looked terrible tonight, her running off like that, but that’s how our friendship works. She’ll call me tomorrow and apologise and tell me how awful that bassist turned out to be.’
    ‘Are the bassists always awful?’
    ‘Always.’
    ‘Are you cold at all?’ Nina asks. She still has her jacket slung over her arm.
    ‘I’m fine,’ says Spencer. Actually, he’s boiling on the spot, but he’s not going to say that, because he doesn’t have a logical reason why he feels so scorching hot.
    ‘You didn’t end up telling me your thing that no one knows about you,’ says Nina, just as they reach the bus stop. She sits down after scrutinising the timetable. Spencer knows the next bus will come in fifteen minutes, and he’s sad that the evening will end so soon. Of course he was the one who said he had to go home, so he’s aware that he’s sabotaging his own chances of ever making a friend other than Bridie. It’s also not a good feeling to be lower in Bridie’s priorities than every bassist on the face of the planet.
    ‘Mah-Jong doesn’t count?’ He leans against the side of the bus stop.
    ‘You probably have that on your Facebook profile,’ says Nina. ‘You must have something a little more obscure.’
    ‘I wouldn’t admit to liking Mah-Jong on Facebook. I’m trying to maintain the illusion that I’m not the most boring person ever. The random song lyrics I post probably don’t make me seem mysterious or exciting, though.’
    ‘Mah-Jong isn’t boring, it’s exotic. So, there’s no big secret?’
    Spencer doesn’t think it through, and he usually thinks through everything until he’s paralysed with inaction. But he says it. Is it because he trusts Nina (a little irrationally, since he only met her a few days before, and he trusts nobody)? Or because someone spiked his Coke, or what? The secret he’s kept for the past seventeen years just slips out.
    ‘I was born without a pinkie toe on my